i'm a war of head versus heart

Favorite Albums of 2011

2011-12-30T13:22:00.002-05:00

Only a couple days left in 2011, so it seems natural to write my annual favorite albums piece. Music has been changing a good bit over the last few years with plenty of independent bands getting mainstream exposure and the lines being blurred between mainstream, alternative, progressive, and indie. It's been an interesting pill to swallow at times, but in the end my favorite albums ended up being the ones that made me feel something. No matter how the music is played, at the end of the day I just want to feel an emotion as a result of what I'm hearing. My favorite albums this year made me feel alive in some way. I hope you enjoy!

10. 1, 2, 3 - New Heaven - These gents seem to be catching some fire after forming in Pittsburgh and basing themselves in New York City. They spawned from one of my all-time favorite bands, The Takeover UK, and have kept some of the edge and all of the vocal beauty. Their first track, "Work", gives you that immediate blue collar feel that comes from the Steel City and resonates to the Big Apple. Pittsburgh also looks amazing in the video. I'm excited to see how far they'll go.

9. Owen - Ghost Town - Owen is the brainchild of stay-at-home dad Mike Kinsella. I never listened to Owen until this summer, but Kinsella's Live... video series for Ghost Town put him in everyday places for stationary shots of him playing a song from the album. My personal favorite location is the Graham Elliot Kitchen in Chicago. Look for that one as well as the first one for "Too Many Moons" where his adorable daughter makes a cameo. My favorite track, "I Believe", is in the video below.

8. Frank Turner - England Keep My Bones - I live near Seattle these days. For the birthplace of grunge, the music scene feels like it's lost its edge over the years. Consequentially, I love grasping for anything that reminds me of the east coast, or even the British isle. To be simple, Frank Turner sounds exactly like what he should sound like; a former punk rocker turned acoustic-driven frontman. He's got that scratchy tone that makes you feel like you're sitting in a Winchester pub sharing a pint with Turner's cousins.

7. City and Colour - Little Hell - Dallas Green's side project has become a main attraction with their full band release from 2011. Green continues to bring about subtle introspection paired with an acoustic guitar and tattoos covering his body like battle wounds of days past. While this album may have a cynical title, it is actually slightly more pleasant than past releases most of the time. Its title track is haunting and will get stuck in your head. The simplicity of this album is summed up in this track.

6. The Decemberists - The King is Dead - Possibly the most consistent album of 2011, the Decemberists came around to the idea of a constantly catchy pop-folk album while maintaining their ever-unique sound. This album is full of track after track that you just want to listen to. The hardest part was picking a favorite.

5. The Strokes - Angles - The Strokes returned in 2011 with a healthy mix of old Strokes and new direction. As can be expected with every Strokes album, the guitar riffs are tight, the drums are simple, and Julian Casablancas sounds like he doesn't give a what. All of the elements are there, with a little extra effort given to synths and electronic elements. At its core, though, Angles is vintage Strokes. "Under Cover of Darkness" is my favorite song of the year, hands down. I listened to this song about 100 times when I first heard it last year and it continues to get repeated when I listen to the album now.

4. New Shouts - Sing New Shouts - New Shouts are my favorite Pittsburgh band. Sorry to the other fantastic bands that I do love, but New Shouts just get me going. They have a purposefully-retro 1960s sound that is replicated flawlessly. These guys have fun on stage and clearly have fun in the recording studio. Any time I needed a pick-me-up this year, Sing New Shouts was hitting my iPod. "Hung on You" is one of the catchiest songs I've heard all year.

3. The Civil Wars - Barton Hollow - I resisted the Civil Wars for a while, which was a massive mistake. The Civil Wars come up with some simple, yet beautiful, Nashville music that you just remember. Joy Williams and Jon Paul White combine for a monumental vocal combination to go with White's old school country guitar. Nominated for a couple Grammy's, the Civil Wars deserve all the accolades they receive for their debut release.

2. The Head and the Heart - The Head and the Heart - These folks from Seattle/Tacoma provided me with my personal soundtrack for 2011. My good friend, Andrew Redfield, passed along "Rivers and Roads" well before I realized how big the Head and the Heart would get. That track turned into the anthem for a cross-country move and major life changes for myself and several friends. My heart still drops a bit every time I hear the first chord. Round it out with some beautiful harmonies and catchy, acoustic-driven folk instrumentation and you've got a very impressed debut.

1. Bon Iver - Bon Iver - I've never been more certain of a number 1 album. Bottom line, this is the most beautiful album I've heard in years; maybe ever. Justin Vernon created a masterpiece a few years ago with For Emma, Forever Ago, which made music lovers like me wonder how he could possibly follow it up. Vernon ditched the solo acoustic stuff by adding about 8 members to the band and creating hauntingly complex music that, at its core, still has the soul of Emma. Bon Iver, as a full album, is arranged with near perfection. Each song makes you want the one after it. I mean this in a way that every song is beautiful, yet when one completes you are ready to hear what's next rather than sticking with one or two tracks over and over. When a song ends, you aren't quite sure what you're in need of next, until the next track begins and you realize it's everything you've ever wanted.

Vernon shows incredible vocal range on this self-titled release. From the falsetto we've become used to on tracks like "Perth" and "Michicant" to the extreme deepness of "Hinnom, TX" that must be experienced in-person, Vernon has shown the world the depth of his musicianship on Bon Iver's second release. The album takes you through a journey, winding up in "Beth/Rest", which is so independent that it's the only way to conclude the album.

To fully explain my love for this album, you must know a few things. First, there have been times when I've become physically angered by the music because it is so beautiful that I can't understand it at times. Second, seeing this album played live was worth a 4-hour drive to Washington, DC, from Pittsburgh as well as dropping a nice chunk of change on a sold-out show in Seattle in the same summer. Third, the obsession with this album reached a fever pitch when I drove out of my way off of I-90 through Wisconsin to simply grab a picture of this record sitting on a street corner in Eau Claire, WI; the home town of Justin Vernon. Moving forward in music, every album I ever hear will be compared with Bon Iver. Good winter, indeed.

Honorable Mentions
My Morning Jacket – Circuital
Manchester Orchestra – Simple Math

Adele – 21

Foster the People – Torches

Young the Giant – Young the Giant

A Tree in a Story About a Forest

2011-11-14T16:03:00.000-05:00

I love these little ten-minute blog posts. I rarely plan to write my favorite blogs. They are the ones that just happen. What's more, they're usually the ones I write in a short amount of time on the spot.

Donald Miller is my favorite writer. His latest book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, is the definition of a must-read. He encourages people to live stories worth talking about. The experiences he describes are real. He's a real guy living an average life but wanting more, just like all of us. Sure, he's writing books that sell a lot of copies and make him sort of famous in different circles, but at the end of the day he wakes up, works, enjoys friends, and goes to bed, just like the rest of us. His relatability makes him an author worth reading over and over because his simple, yet profound, thoughts can resonate with average people like me.

My favorite chapter of any book is "A Tree in a Story About a Forest" from this book. In this chapter, Miller talks about a gentleman named Victor Frankl who helped people to avoid suicide in concentration camps during World War II. He would illegally give these people hope and keep them alive. During a dark time in his life, Miller felt Frankl whispering to him that he was a tree in a story about a forest and that he had a bigger purpose than his own goals and aspirations.

After talking so much about living a better story and having adventures and experiences worth talking about, Miller brings it all back and reminds us that throughout these stories we must remember that we are not the center of attention, which is the complete opposite of what American society tells us. In the movies, we are the actor pursuing the dream job or the dream girl or the dream home or the dream family with two kids, a dog, and a white picket fence.

In life, that's not the story. The story is Jesus. We are characters in the story of Jesus. We are carriers of Jesus to people in this world. We are broken people who have been saved by Jesus' dying to conquer sin. Our brokenness is fixed by Jesus. We are nothing but arrogant for believing that we have anything to do with our lives being saved. We are arrogant if we think that our stories are more important than His.

Autumn Weekends, or, It's Hard Being a Pitt Fan

2011-10-22T13:33:00.000-04:00

My sister just had her first article for the Post-Gazette published this morning! It's about growing up as a die-hard Pitt fan, which is not terribly common. You can read the article here:

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/11295/1183853-109.stm

This article about autumnal Pitt gamedays reminds me of my own youth; growing up 12-16 years behind my siblings, yet still raised as a Pitt fan. When Sue was in college and I was progressing through elementary school, they sucked. It was not fun to walk into school and talk to my friends who were Penn State fans about that weekends games. Penn State usually won, Pitt usually lost, and that was about it.

I vividly remember the days I would be running around the backyard playing football when I'd get called in for the second half of the Pitt games. I remember trying to go to games against Temple or Rutgers because those were the only games Pitt might win. One of my favorite memories was Halloween Thursday night, 1996, when I came home from trick-or-treating to find the best treat of the night: Pitt on ESPN! They beat Boston College that night for their third win in a four-win season. That same season, my brother took a trip to the Horseshoe at Ohio State to see the Buckeyes trounce Pitt 72-0.

I also remember the rise. Pitt had been bad the whole time I'd been a fan growing, so when a bowl game became a real possibility in 1997, it was something to talk about. After starting 2-1, Pitt upset the once-mighty Miami Hurricanes on Thursday night ESPN, resulting in some torn-down goalposts at Pitt Stadium, if I remember correctly. That season they needed two overtimes to beat Rutgers and two wins against perennial powers, Virginia Tech and West Virginia, to become bowl-eligible. They upset the Hokies, then turned around and upset West Virginia in a three-overtime game that I remember vividly. WVU kicked a field goal in the third overtime. Pete Gonzalez converted a 4th-and-17 to Jake Hofart keep the drive alive before another 4th down conversion to Terry Murphy for the win and bowl-eligibility.

Since then, it's been an up-and-down ride filled with higher expectations. A win in the last game at Pitt Stadium against hated rival Notre Dame, a blocked field goal attempt by LaVar Arrington to preserve a loss at Penn State, Walt Harris' Wide Receiver U putting players into the upper echelon of the NCAA and into the NFL, beating rival Penn State, 12-0, in their last meeting, Pitt garnering national attention, and ultimate under-performance by teams we expected more from over the years.

My memory has blurred a bit since my childhood. I've seen so many games on TV and in-person as a student that I am starting to forget details. I remember seeing some amazing things in person, like most of Larry Fitzgerald's catches, QB Tyler Palko (my favorite Pitt player of all time) running over a Boston College safety, and, of course, Aliquippa alumnus Darrelle Revis' silly punt return against West Virginia. Most importantly, I remember the day Pitt kept West Virginia out of the national championship game in a fluke win at my least favorite place in the world Mountaineer Field.

At the end of the day, sports are sports. They're nothing more and nothing less. Everything was magnified when I was a child, so I remember those events like they happened yesterday. I look forward to the day that I'm raising my kids in Pittsburgh, playing football in the backyard until it's time to come in for kickoff. I miss Pittsburgh today for that reason and for the reason that people honestly care about their sports in the Steel City.

No offense, Seattle, but your sports fans are lame and flaky. Watch your Huskies today, but know that you wouldn't care if they were 3-4 like my Panthers. Hail to Pitt!

Band Obsessions

2011-10-20T01:08:00.000-04:00

Working in an office gives me a chance to listen to music all day, which is certainly amazing for someone who loves music like I do! There have definitely been days where I've been in moods when I feel like I'm bored with my music selection and I need some new stuff (which I usually indulge in at that point), but lately there have been a few albums or artists that have been able to simply captivate beyond the need for anything else. Let me mention a few of them here:

Fall Out Boy - Take This To Your Grave: These boys have a way of playing their way into my sub conscience and not getting out. They are probably the catchiest band I listen to and Patrick Stump's voice has a way of captivating my attention that few other singers can do. Take This To Your Grave was their first big hit and is one of my favorite albums of all time. It is pop-punk mastery. I loved listening to these guys on my way through their hometown of Chicago on my cross-country trip. Their follow-up album, From Under the Cork Tree is another one of my all-time favorites and is full of catchy anthems. Their last release, Folie a Deux, is one of the most underrated albums of the last 5 years, in my opinion, with plenty of diversity and a few cool cameos (Pharrell, Lil Wayne).

Bon Iver - Bon Iver: In short, this is the best album of 2011. There will not be an album that is better. If there is, I will pee my pants. I did not think there was a chance Bon Iver could follow-up their first release, For Emma, Forever Ago, with anything better, but they reinvented their sound and released a completely different album that is simply beautiful. Every track is stunning. I have a couple favorites, but I rarely repeat songs because each song prepares your spirit for the next. It just makes sense to listen straight through. In particular, though, I have been obsessed with this Bonnie Raitt cover from a little CD of extras, "I Can't Make You Love Me/Nick of Time"

The Tallest Man on Earth - Everything: Kristian Matsson is The Tallest Man on Earth, but isn't particularly imposing in stature. Instead, he's fairly meek and humble. He is one man with no other musicians involved. He is Swedish, but manipulates and utilizes the English language. Most importantly, he controls you. There is something incredibly endearing about him, despite the fact that he doesn't talk much, move around much, or really do anything much to particularly entertain you. He simple plays beautiful music with such emotion and obvious spirit in his voice that you can't help but be under his spell.

Taking Back Sunday - Tell All Your Friends: This is the quintessential teen angst album, which I didn't actually own until I was firmly inserted in my mid-20s. Regardless, this album is full of anger, frustration, and I-don't-give-a-what mentality that it fits any disgruntled mood you might have. Can't find any motivation? Tell All Your Friends? Girls being a pain? Tell All Your Friends. Missed the bus? Tell All Your Friends. It was amazing to see most of these songs performed by the original lineup on their tour this summer. What's more, take a look at videos from 2011 and then take a look at 2002, when the album was first released. The maturity has changed this band quite a bit. The emotion is still there, just in a different form, and with a microphone swinging swagger.

Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend: The most unlikely addition to any music list of mine, I could not figure out people's affinity with Vampire Weekend for years. The songs were odd, cheeky, and not particularly interesting to me. Then one day, it just hit me. Everything was sticking in my head. I wanted to learn every word to every song. I'd listen to the album straight through, then I'd want to listen to it again. The songwriting sounds simple, but is full of changes in time signature and demeanor. The lyrics are intelligent and full of one-liners. I think what did it was "Oxford Comma", thanks to "who cares about details" mentality and its use of the most taboo word in the English language.

100th Post

2011-10-10T16:06:00.001-04:00

This is my 100th blog post. Initially I wanted to type "I can't believe it" or "I remember my first post like it was yesterday", but the fact is that it seems like an appropriate amount of time. Lots has changed since November 2008. I've grown immensely and in ways that I didn't expect, but in a lot of ways that I did expect. I would say that I can't believe where I'm at, working and living in Tacoma, WA, but I can believe it. It's been a natural progression. I've had to prove a lot of things to myself by getting here, like the fact that I would actually pick up and leave Pittsburgh.

Since that post three years ago I've written about getting back to the city, falling in love with the Northwest, working through graduate school, and working through a difficult job search. The things I've learned along the way have not been surprising. Patience and humility were certainly virtues that I did not possess remotely when this blog started. I haven't developed these virtues nearly as much as I'd like to, but I've grown a lot.

I was extremely impatient on a micro and macro scale three years ago. I was short with people when I waited tables. I was rude to my parents and others when I would get upset about having to live at home. I was especially impatient with God's plan to get me into my next life stage. I think I knew that God would take care of me, but I didn't want to wait for it.

I was extremely arrogant about feeling like I should have a "real job" just because I had a Bachelor's degree, which I'm learning more and more was an extremely prideful and foolish stance. Just having a Bachelor, especially in a field like History, doesn't guarantee anything. I did have a salaried job in youth ministry, but God showed me that was the wrong direction. Waiting tables for a living is extremely humbling as you offer selfless service to people in hopes that they'll offer compensation for your work. Sometimes they would take care of you and sometimes they wouldn't. In the end, I learned to rely on God's provisions to carry me as far as I needed to go. I even had a chance to share my faith with co-workers who noticed my relaxed attitude with regard to making money. I never expected that people would learn about patience from me.

God got me to where I needed to be on his timetable. I learned what it means to be humble, patient, and rely on God as my provider. I'm still learning, for sure, but things seem clearer now. The last month has shown me so much about relying on God for safety and company. It's been very lonely here at times compared to my life in Pittsburgh, but God has provided people in His time and He has shown me to rely on Him in times of need rather than other people.

Thank you for reading, for whatever reason! I look forward to continuing to share my journey with you in the next hundred posts, however long that takes. God finds ways to show Himself to me every day, so I look forward to sharing my experiences with you and hearing the same from you.

Failure and Success

2011-10-05T21:16:00.000-04:00

If there is just one single solitary thing that I've learned in my life, it's that every single time I try to do something on my own and without God, I fail. Every single time I seek God, I succeed. Success may not look like what I expect it to, but it is success nonetheless.

When the Story Ends

2011-09-26T15:38:00.001-04:00

Moving to the Northwest has been a dream of mine, for any of you who have not been following my blog the last few years. It has been the goal for so long. It's been a dream I've had in my head since I first visited Seattle two years ago. This summer's job search gave me the opportunity to move here as I'd been hoping for. The dream would be realized. Pack up the necessities in Marie Antoinette and hit the road heading west until the road ran out.

So I did it.

Now what?

That's been the question. I've been reading through my favorite book again, "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" by Don Miller. In one of the chapters, Don mentions the idea that we rarely think about: what happens to the characters when the story is over? We all know about John Cusack holding the stereo in the girl's yard, or Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan on the top of the Empire State Building, or Rudy making those unlikely tackles in his first-and-only playing time for Notre Dame. But what happens next? People don't live happily ever after because there is always a new goal, a new challenge, a new endeavor to navigate. I'm starting to learn what it really means for this to be the start of a new chapter rather than the end of a story.

This move has been the toughest thing I've ever done. Some days I wake up with debilitating homesickness that makes it difficult to function normally and enjoy my day. Some days I don't, though, and I thank God for those days. Things will get better, but for now I'm still just handling the homesickness day-to-day.

The most difficult part of this move has absolutely been finding community. It's not that I'm struggling to meet people or find places where community is, but it's just that I'm struggling with not having any support system in place here for me to rely on as I venture out for new places to call home. I don't have that one go-to friend to talk to about everything. I'm still finding ways to get my emotions out and feel refreshed. It's been a real struggle to lay in bed at times and process my thoughts by myself because sometimes it's hard to talk to anyone about them, even if they know what I'm going through.

Things are getting better, though. This weekend I spent time with some people who made me feel like they are genuinely happy to have me here. I do have a need to feel appreciated and I think the last 48 hours have made me feel that way consistently for the first time since I left Pittsburgh.

This is a journey. The past month has been an amazing journey that I'll never forget. Yesterday was a journey. Today is a journey. Tomorrow is a journey. Every day we learn new things about ourselves and others. Each day we get more comfortable than the last. One day soon Tacoma will start to feel a bit like home.

No matter when that is, I know that I need to take advantage of the opportunities I have while I'm here. I want to go to shows weekly. I want (need) to start a band and play a shows around the Sea-Tac area. I may even want to live in Seattle for a year before my time here is done. Until then, though, I am living in Tacoma, finding community, and filling the voids that have been left from my move. I'm also creating new experiences that would not happen in Pittsburgh.

At the end of the day, God has placed me as a tree in a story about a forest. The story is ongoing and purposeful. There is a reason for me to be in Tacoma right now and it doesn't have as much to do with me as I'd like it to. I'm just a tree in a story about a forest.

Day 7 - Tacoma

2011-09-06T02:35:00.000-04:00

Well, that's it! I'm here. I've made it to Tacoma in one piece thanks to Marie Antoinette. It's late now, I'm tired, and I start work in the morning, so tonight may be more brief than I was hoping.

I woke up this morning next to Gonzaga University in Spokane. I woke up pretty early since I'm still physically on Eastern Standard Time, so I rode my bike around campus. Every time I was reading to turn back, I decided to go a little further and it paid off every time. Their basketball arena, the McCarthy Athletic Center, was beautiful. There was a bridge crossing over to some dorms that provided the most amazing view of Gonzaga across the lake. Then I rode around on a trail around this lake, providing more breathtaking views. I thought the campus was fine last night when I rode around (catching a few minutes of Back to the Future on the lawn en route), but I'm sure glad that I experienced the beauty of Gonzaga this morning because it was a spectacular campus.

It'd be beating a dead horse to tell you about how amazing this trip was or how beautiful this country is. Every day was better than the last as far as scenery has gone. South Dakota was amazing, Wyoming was even more amazing, Montana seemed second-to-none, then I hit a brief/unbelievable stretch of Idaho, followed by the incredible contrast of Washington. Desert, desert, desert, mountains.

I was wondering how things could get any better once I got to Spokane and had just experienced Idaho, but I forgot about the water! Oh, the water. I randomly decided to stop at one of these "scenic overlooks" today, which was probably the best thing I've done on this trip. The Columbia River came out of nowhere to be what seemed like simply beneath me at one point. I snapped a few simple pictures of its unreal beauty, then descended to a bridge that came down so far that I could have touched the water if I'd have reached over the railing. Seriously, the only comparison is a National Geographic.

Now, the hard part. I'm here, I'm settled, and tomorrow starts work. Now I have to start over. I sure do miss all of you back home, but I can't think about you much because it'll only make things hard. I'm a sensitive, emotional, nostalgic person, so the last thing I want to do as I start this next chapter is to worry about who is not here. All I can consider is what's ahead of me; my new chapter. I look forward to developing relationships with my roommates and co-workers as well as finding a new church home. I look forward to this challenge, but know that I love and miss you all in PA!

Day 6 - Spokane, WA

2011-09-05T00:13:00.000-04:00

I'm so close, I can almost taste it. In fact, it was a shock when I rolled into Washington today because I realized that this physical journey is almost complete. Tomorrow morning I'll wake up and head west one last time for a short 5-hour jaunt to Tacoma; my final destination.

I traveled through Montana for most of today. Montana was, by far, my favorite state to drive through on this trip. First, it hits you with the wide open spaces that I wrote about yesterday, then it starts crushing you with mountains. I started getting a taste of the Rocky Mountains when I was arriving in Bozeman yesterday, which created an excitement to hit the road again this morning. By the time I got to today's midpoint, Missoula, I was fully immersed in the Rockies.

I love seeing college campuses, so I punched the University of Montana in my GPS for the Missoula stop. I was driving up and down around 8000 feet of elevation (probably higher at some point, but I didn't notice a sign). I thought the mountains would open up to allow Missoula to emerge, similar to other Montana cities, but it didn't. Instead, Missoula is situated right in the mountains, creating the most beautiful natural location for a university that I've seen.

The university was crawling with bikes. Students were riding all over campus and clearly have mountain biking opportunities because this was the model of choice. I got on my bike to ride around and take some pictures while I had plenty of time to kill. The U of M has about 16,000 students, making it a similar size to Pitt. The campus, however, is as different as can be. Their campus is set apart from the city of Missoula with breathtaking scenery thanks to its mountainous terrain. I asked the information desk girl where I could get a t-shirt (the book store was closed) and she told me Wal-Mart, but she also pointed me in the direction of the Oval as the best place to get a few good pictures.

The oval hosts the grizzly statue (UM's mascot) and University Hall, its oldest building. Behind University Hall is Mount Sentinel, which features the M trail; switchbacks leading up to an M near the top that is common for student hiking. You can see a picture of the scene here. The campus was fantastic to bike through because there were so many paths going in several directions, so there was plenty to see. I got a really great vibe from the campus and even feel now like this could be a stop during my career if I decide to venture away from an urban atmosphere for a while. A community of hiking and biking is something that I will encounter in Washington, so I may develop more of an interest when my career is ready for the next step after a handful of years.

Driving through mountains is one of those several things on this trip that simply cannot be adequately described with pictures or words. You'll see my pictures trying to tell the story. I can also tell you things like how many expletives I used per hour in simple amazement of my surroundings, or how when I was reaching the crest of the road in the mountains I started to wonder if there would be more road on the other side to catch me, or how terrifying I think it'd be to actually drive as fast as the speed limit coming down some of the winding roads in Idaho.

But these things won't do it justice. You need to see it for yourself. I have been driving through a National Geographic documentary this week. Seriously, you need to see it live and in-person.

Like I said, the physical journey has almost concluded. This week has felt like an eternity in some ways. I've had so much time with just me and the road this week and it's felt wonderful. The road and Marie Antoinette (my car) have been my best friends this week, so every morning I've been excited to wake up and spend more time together. That time ends tomorrow, which I'm sure Marie is excited about so she doesn't have to drive 95 mph ever again.

It's sad to think about this trip ending. I've enjoyed being a vagabond this week, going with the wind and exploring the United States by myself. I've enjoyed being unemployed this summer and having time to do whatever I've wanted to do every day. That time ends and I'm sad to see this unique experience end. I'm also scared about actually doing exactly what it is I've wanted to do. There's a certain excitement and joy that comes with the anticipation of an event or major life change, so now that it's actually happening I have a lot of pressure for this experience to be exactly what I've hoped it to be. I've known that the grass isn't necessarily greener, just a different shade of green, but now it's up to me to make this experience in Tacoma exactly what I need it to be.

In a way that will be difficult, but in another it won't. This trip has given me a craving for the outdoors. I'm looking forward to buying some camping and hiking equipment and using it. I'm looking forward to spending some time on the Puget Sound on a kayak. I'm excited to bike around Tacoma and see how far I can go. All of these things I've daydreamed about can be done if I just get out there and do them. Life is what you make of it. Opportunities come and go, so we need to choose to take them. I've chosen to accept this inciting incident and make the move to the Pacific Northwest, so now I have to take the reigns and let the Lord lead me, as they say.

Day 5 - Bozeman, MT

2011-09-04T02:00:00.000-04:00

Let me start tonight's post by explaining that I cannot adequately describe the beauty I've seen in this country. Every state is more beautiful than the last. This drive has been absolutely surreal and I feel so blessed for having the opportunity to cross this country by car.

I woke up this morning in South Dakota and began my trek toward Big Sky country. It is amazing how distinct each state really is. As soon as I crossed over from South Dakota into Wyoming, it was a clear change from the rolling green hills to the wild west. Wyoming was full of pastures and open space for roaming purposes. Going along with the "small world" theme, I had lunch with a friend (Hannah) of a friend (Jeremy) of a friend (Kallie) in Sheridan, WY.

As I've described, it's been amazing to see real people living real lives in these locations that I've only heard about. While I was hoping that Hannah lived in a little 500-person town off the beaten path, Sheridan was a big oasis of a town in a vast western expanse.

As I said previously, each state is better than the last. Last night, my favorite state was South Dakota. Tonight's new favorite is Montana. Pictures and words cannot accurately explain how vast the sky is in Montana. Imagine being able to see in every direction for 10 miles, then imagine what that clear blue sky looks like above. At one point I recall seeing a wall of clouds with clear sky to the right that looked like a literal sea. I crept over the hill to see this ocean of sky, wondering what body of water was approaching.

I remember reading an article that my friend, Dave Mesing, posted a while ago about the experience one has in a town when they ride a bike versus driving. When you drive, you simply enter your vessel at one end and emerge at your destination. You see the things in between, but they just seem like scenery on your way.

The same can be said for traveling across the country in a car versus a plane. If I would have flown from Pittsburgh to Tacoma, I'd have been there a few days ago and would have missed an immense collection of beauty that cannot be described in this post. Driving through Ohio, Indiana, Wisconsin, Minnesota, South Dakota, Wyoming, and Montana has given a face to these locations. I've interacted with people who live in these places and learned that life happens here. People grew up here, worked here, lived here.

I arrived in Bozeman, MT, tonight with some daylight and a desire for a coffeeshop, dinner, and a beer. Bozeman is an awesome little college town, hosting Montana State University. As I rolled up to the coffee shop (Wild Joe's Organic Coffee and Tea), I was immediately asked if I had a doobie to spare. Sad to say, I didn't. I guess if you roll up to an organic coffeeshop with your life packed in a Honda Civic and a bike strapped to the back, you can expect to be asked about having pot.

I had dinner and a couple beers at the Montana Ale Works, which was a cool ale house with some good food and a packed house. The beer selection was fantastic, including mostly local Montana brews. Dinner and beers were great and I rounded out the night with an old friend; Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Tomorrow I have a place to stay at Gonzaga in Spokane, WA, so I've got about 6 hours of driving tomorrow before 5 more on Monday to arrive in Tacoma. I'm so thankful for safety and smooth sailing so far. Thanks for your prayers and I look forward to another enjoyable trek tomorrow.

Before I call it a night, let me try to explain how valuable a GPS, smart phone, and good stereo are on a cross-country roadtrip. I don't know where I'd be or even how much I'd be able to handle this trip if it weren't for these modern amenities.

I leave you with this tonight: These places are real. I've driven through the documentaries. You absolutely must see this country.

Day 4 - Rapid City, SD

2011-09-03T00:16:00.001-04:00

Today was easily the most enjoyable day of driving I've experienced. Not only that, it was certainly the longest at about 10 hours and 600 miles of driving from Minneapolis, MN, to Rapid City, SD. I'm sitting in a plush hotel in Rapid City right now, for which I am very thankful because I've slept on a couch, floor, and futon since my trek began three days ago. I'm looking forward to dinner and a beer before a big, comfortable bed takes my exhaustion away.

My journey from Minneapolis was accompanied by the city's own The Hold Steady. I listened to Stay Positive three times in a row without boredom. The album is so good and there is something amazing about listening to a band singing about the city you're traveling through. It was cool to roll up Hennepin, knowing that Craig Finn sings about living on this very street on "The Sweet Part of the City" from their latest release, Heaven is Whenever.

Before that, though, I must gather my thoughts. South Dakota has been my favorite state, thus far. The vast expanse of space is simply impossible to explain with words. Some described SD has a very boring state, but I was constantly amazed by the miles and miles and miles of space to become bored. SD is so lacking of people and places that any time you saw one or the other it was reason for excitement.

I was racing against the clock, in a way, which made the drive more exciting. I am thankful that Marie Antoinette (my car) could handle driving 85 mph for most of those 600 miles. My only goal was to leave Minneapolis around 11am and get to the Badlands by sundown, which would give me about 8.5 hours.

Jack Kerouac kept me company with On the Road for a significant portion of the ride. This is an absolutely perfect audiobook for a road trip because Kerouac continues to travel back and forth across the United States, finding work and characters along the way. A book like this gives me motivation to take advantage of every opportunity and make the trip memorable. It's been a safe trip to this point, staying with friends and keeping to major cities, but the next few days will be traveled through Big Sky country without a familiar face in sight, so adventure may be right around the corner.

This transition in my life has shown me equally that the world is a very small and a very large place. I've made connections with people in Tacoma that I'd never expect, which makes the world feel small at times. On the other hand, driving for hours along a near-empty highway across what didn't seem like an enormous state has reminded me that I am a very small person in a very big world. Looking from side to side on I-90 gave your eyes massive amounts of green and space to devour. Look upwards and it is simply sky. For the most part, that sky was cloudy and dark, which I was thankful for because it was so hot the previous two days.

I stopped in Sioux Falls, directly between Minneapolis and Rapid City, for lunch. I made an incredible realization here that my urban mind never really thought about. People live here. Not only do people live here, but people probably love it here. South Dakota is home. They work here and shop here and their kids play baseball here. It so often seems to me that life does not happen outside the city, but it does. People love the open spaces and farm country. It was simply amazing to be in this small city in the middle of nowhere and realize that people call this place home.

As I approached the Badlands, it was a race against the sun. It was setting and my time was growing thin. To avoid beating around the bush, I barely made it. The Badlands come out of nowhere. You're driving a couple miles away from the interstate then, all of a sudden, there it is. These colored mountains stretching for miles and creating magnificent terrain. They reminded me of the little painted desert in Arizona. I rolled up listening to The Wild Hunt by The Tallest Man on Earth because the album reminds me of these big expansive spaces.

I didn't have much time, so I snapped a bunch of pictures. The sun was setting quickly and darkness was falling. My car was the last remaining at this pullover spot and the depth of the night was setting in. I was moved to tears when I realized the enormity of God in this place. The landscape changed so drastically over a 20-minute time period from when I arrived to when the sun was gone and I was on my way. The pictures tell a better story, but still don't do justice to this natural wonder.

So that's the end of today. Tomorrow I trek through Wyoming into Montana. My timetable will open up and I'll be able to stop more without worrying about timing. I look forward to that. This trip has been amazing and I could type more and more about it, but I'll save some more reflection for tomorrow.

Day 3 - Minneapolis

2011-09-02T01:15:00.000-04:00

My third day of traveling started in Milwaukee, WI, and landed me in Minneapolis, MN. I took a tour around Marquette University with Jamie this morning before heading out. Marquette has a beautiful campus with a mix of very old and very modern buildings. It's has a great, warm urban/residential vibe and a lot of beautiful landscaping and architecture.

The road was a lonely place today and I was struggling to stay focused and alert. I made a few stops to keep things fresh, but the 90 degree heat was weighing on me. As I drove across Wisconsin, my one goal was to hit Eau Claire and drive down the streets Justin Vernon used to inhabit before Bon Iver. The town was great little suburban spot with families and a quaint downtown area. People were walking around downtown in bathing suits while carrying inner tubes for spending the hot day on the river. I set my Bon Iver album on a street corner and took a neat little picture.

I'm visiting with my friend Rachel in Minneapolis and staying overnight with her boyfriend, Jon. They go to North Central University in downtown Minneapolis. It's a nice little urban campus within walking distance of a lot of cool spots. We had dinner at a brewery a mile or so away with plenty of outdoor seating, then walked down to the water for my first view of the Mississippi. Minneapolis is pretty picturesque and offers plenty of bike lanes all over the city. I'm definitely jealous of how bike-friendly Minneapolis and Milwaukee are, combined with their flat terrain. Those are definitely two things that Pittsburgh was lacking.

Tomorrow and Saturday are my longest days of traveling. Tomorrow I drive about 10 hours to Rapid City, SD, with a stop in Sioux Falls on the way. I'm hoping to hit the Badlands right around dusk to get an amazing sunset. Thank goodness for gaining an hour when I change time zones! Tomorrow is definitely Rapid City or bust, but the following day I'll have some options as far as how far I'd like to push into Montana. Today is the last day I'll see a familiar face until I hit Tacoma, so it's going to be an interesting few days of traveling. I'm enjoying the trip, but will definitely be looking forward to the end pretty soon.

I'm extremely thankful for this trip, though. I can't believe I'm actually taking a solo trip across the country. It's been fantastic to see so many states that I wouldn't have seen otherwise and to really interact with people in these cities that I'd only seen in pictures and TV. Cities like Milwaukee and Minneapolis aren't necessarily "must-see" locations, but they're great American cities with real, genuine Americans that remind me what this country is all about.

Day 2 - Milwaukee

2011-09-01T00:21:00.000-04:00

Day Two was more of a physical challenge than the first, for sure. I was on the road for much longer; about 7 instead of 3. Today's journey had me saying farewell to the Prats girls and heading towards Indianapolis before venturing north through Chicago and into Milwaukee to visit Jeremy and Jamie Ault, who have recently moved here for Jeremy to start his fellowship with Marquette.

I didn't hit the road as early as I should have, but thank goodness that I didn't account for Central time because I got an extra hour and took time to stop for lunch at Bub's north of Indianapolis. This place was featured on Man vs Food on the Travel Channel for their burgers, so I had a quarter pounder and it was delicious! The seasoning was fantastic and medium rare was certainly the proper temperature for their juicy burgers. They provided group games at each table for entertainment and offered a picture on the wall to anyone who ate the Big Ugly one-pound burger. It was touristy, but I'm a tourist, so lay off.

Indiana kinda sucks. It's bigger than you'd think and pretty stinking boring. The most interesting part, however, was a sea of windmills. I'd have to estimate close to 1000 windmills in a 10 mile stretch.

Thank goodness for audiobooks. I was listening to On the Road by Jack Kerouac for most of the trip today. As I began to approach Chicago, I listened to my favorite Chicago band; Fall Out Boy. I went through their whole discography, which kept me alert because I was wailing every note right along with Patrick.

Arriving in Milwaukee was a nice result. It's great to see familiar faces. Jeremy, Jamie, and I rode bikes around the city to dinner and had some beers. My favorite cheap beer, Pabst Blue Ribbon, is a local product so I had to have one.

Nothing too insightful today, unfortunately. I'm pretty tired and hoping that my body holds up. I will say that it's been a blessing to have places to say and to possibly have a connect in Montana so I may only need to get one hotel on the whole trip. Also, I mentioned my desire to Skype to Lindsay and she gave me a web cam that Mike got for her and didn't work on her computer! One less thing I will need when I get to Tacoma. Thank God for these simple blessings.

Minneapolis tomorrow! Maybe stopping in Eau Claire, WI, on the way to say hi to Justin Vernon.

Day 1 - Columbus

2011-08-30T23:25:00.000-04:00

It feels like I'm entering a period of intense blogging, so brace yourself! Today was Day One of my cross-country trip from Pittsburgh to Tacoma. My first leg was a short trip from Beaver County to Columbus to visit Mike, Lindsay, and June Prats.

Although Mike and Lindsay had to get to bed early, it was nice to spend some time with these close friends and relax before a longer day of driving tomorrow en route to Milwaukee. Lindsay cooked us a delicious dinner of chicken, brussel sprouts, and corn on the cob, which was a forgotten bonus about staying with friends along the way!

It was hard to leave everyone today and I get emotional when I see pictures taken at my parents' house because I get nostalgic. Life is progressing, though, and I wasn't going to stay in Pittsburgh forever. I'm thankful that I have felt 100% peace about my choice to take this job at UW Tacoma and start a new chapter.

I think this week will be an enjoyable adventure at times, but my lengthy periods of time on my own will produce a lot of idle thinking time. I need to take advantage of these times and pray, pray, pray. Savoring this trip is important because life will restart upon arrival in Washington.

The Avett Brothers kept me company on the road today. It seemed appropriate for my visit with the Pratses, who are both big fans.

Check out my blog from earlier today, prior to the road to Ohio: Heading West

Heading West

2011-08-30T14:24:00.000-04:00

This afternoon I begin my trek west. I'm sitting on the porch at Beaver Falls Coffee and Tea with some of my closest friends from Beaver County. It's a surreal experience. So surreal that it really doesn't feel like I'm leaving. Today, it feels like I'm just about to take a little drive to Columbus to visit friends. Tomorrow will just feel like a trip to Milwaukee. I don't think the reality will set in for at least a week that I'm really going to live in Tacoma, WA, and not Pennsylvania.

That's something interesting I've discovered about life while approaching this day. When I talk about being nervous about leaving or being sad about not getting to stay, friends would encourage me that I'll be back to visit and I can return for a new job in a few years. I used to think that that fact was still a big deal and that three years was a significant amount of time. It still is significant, but I think I'm beginning to realize that life will go on, I'll keep in touch with friends and visit for vacations. When I come home, life will resume. If I move back to Pittsburgh in 3, 5, or 10 years, I'll return to a different set of people, but a life as similar as I choose to make it.

The big difference will be that I'll have an amazing experience under my belt. This move will be the hardest thing I've done to this point. I've lived in the Pittsburgh area for 26 years and now I'm venturing out to a new place with very little familiar places. This will be a growing experience that is completely necessary for me to become the man God's created me to be.

I recognized recently that I need to leave Pittsburgh at some point and try something new. It is clear that this chapter in Pittsburgh is coming to an appropriate end. People are transitioning into new lives and settling into new situations, so it's time for me to do the same. I'm ready to potentially be a pioneer for friends who want to join me in the Pacific Northwest. Or maybe I'm ready to start a new life on my own. Or maybe I need to just get away from PA for a while to recapture its mystery in my heart.

No matter what the case, God is sending me to Tacoma for a reason. I'm excited to see what that reason is. I've got a few ideas.

Simple blessings

2011-08-09T09:56:00.001-04:00

God has been blessing me in the simplest ways lately. He's taken potentially complicated tasks, like finding a job and housing, and has made them extremely simple and logical. We don't pay attention to or thank God for these simple blessings often enough, so take time to do that today.

It's interesting how God's plan seems to make so little sense until we get to a resolution and realize that things worked out exactly as they should. With my job search, not only did I find a great job in a location that I'm excited about, but God also blessed me with little things along the way. He blessed me with a job before the school year begins and higher education jobs become sparse. He blessed me with the entire summer to enjoy in Pittsburgh before I start my next chapter. He's blessed me with a calm assurance that it is the right time to make this move. He's blessed me with more patience than I was aware I could muster throughout the whole job search process.

In addition to these things, God has also blessed me with a great housing situation in Tacoma a month before I even move out. He's taken these big situations and made them manageable.

Today, look at the small complications in your life and how God makes them simple. For example, yesterday I wanted to go to the South Hills to replace the old speakers and stereo in my car, but I didn't want to sit around the shop for 3 hours waiting for them to finish. My friend, Ed, lives in the South Hills, so I called him hoping he would be off because youth pastors are usually off on Monday. Ed was off, free, and lived 10 minutes from the shop, so we hung out all afternoon. This was just one of those simple, everyday occurrences of seeing God's hand in my life.

Take time to thank God for making things simple that we don't notice. He's making your life easy without the fireworks and fanfare. These are the everyday miracles that we should be praising God for!

What will you miss?

2011-08-08T09:11:00.001-04:00

I've been asked a pair of questions recently that make a lot of sense for someone in my position. My friend, Josh, asked if I have a Pittsburgh bucket list of things I'd like to do or places I'd like to go before I move to Tacoma. My other friend, Lisa, asked what I will miss most about Pittsburgh. I don't have a bucket list nor will I miss any one thing in particular. While the answers to these questions naturally differ, they are fundamentally driven by the same idea: the thing I love about Pittsburgh is my friends and family.

Sure, there are places and things about Pittsburgh that I will miss. Primanti Bros, the incline, all of our sports teams, Hough's, and of course Suncrest Camp. But in the end, my memories are of people. I don't do many things by myself because I like to enjoy experiences with others. The coffeeshops, the dive bars, the restaurants; these things exist everywhere, but it's the people I'll miss.

I won't miss Ambridge, PA, but I'll definitely miss Sunday morning breakfast with my family.

I won't miss Silky's and their too-expensive-to-go-on-weekends prices, but I'll miss shuffleboard, darts, and late nights out front with good friends.

I won't miss Schenley Park disc golf, but I'll miss those intentional conversations with Jordan, Dustin, or Greg.

I may not miss my room, but I'll miss living with great friends and the potential for jam sessions with anyone who's lived here.

I may not miss Tazza D'oro or Commonplace, but I'll miss the mornings spent there with Robby.

I may not miss Suncrest Camp itself, the 50 year old mattresses, the constantly uncomfortable weather, or the most forgiving rims in basketball history, but I will miss every camper, counselor, musician, and director I've spent time with over the past 10 years.

For me, life has always been about experiences and who you spend them with. When I shed tears on my journey, it will not be a result of places or things I've left behind, but for people I hope to encounter again.

Answers

2011-08-02T18:24:00.000-04:00

Two years ago I visited my friends Jenn and Ron in Seattle for a week before I started graduate school. I fell in love with the city and the Pacific Northwest. Upon starting school I decided that I would move to Seattle when I finished school.

Two years later, I will be moving to Tacoma, WA.

I accepted a job at the University of Washington Tacoma yesterday and will start in early September. My job search process has been a test of patience and faith from day one. I have grown and understood God's plan in a more serious way that I ever expected! Throughout the process I had plenty of exciting job opportunities come and go. I even turned down two very good opportunities that simply were shown to me as positions that were not good fits for me. It was difficult to watch my cohort of graduates move on to their new positions and to hear many professionals question my decision to turn down jobs, but in the end my faith in God's plan has resulted in the opportunity that excited me more than any other! I've debated several different locations, only to land in my number one choice in the end. While it's not exactly Seattle, it's very close, a more manageable size, and a more affordable location that will be a much better fit for my first city after Pittsburgh.

Without getting into much detail, I am very excited for the entire opportunity. The position, Student Services Specialist with a focus on Career Development and Education, is an exciting and versatile position that will give me plenty of opportunity to develop career services at UWT as well as develop me as a young professional. My colleagues are a young and exciting group that I feel like I'll look forward to working with every day!

Much more will come as I blog about my last month in Pittsburgh, my week-or-so-long roadtrip across the country, and the next chapter in Tacoma, so I look forward to sharing this journey with you! Thanks for your prayers and support.

The Head and the Heart

2011-07-07T09:04:00.002-04:00

Yes, I listened to this band because they sorta share a name with my blog. Their lyrics, though, are introspective in the way you'd expect with that sort of name. Check out the review I wrote for their self-titled album here at Ear to the Ground!

Circumstances

2011-06-25T09:18:00.000-04:00

Remember when you were a kid and someone would ask what you wanted to do when you grew up? What did you say? I wanted to be an athlete. I probably said other things, too, like astronaut and firefighter (you know, the jobs that very few people I know actually do). We were idealistic then. Our parents told us we could do anything we put our minds to, which was good advice because it probably got us over several hurdles in our lives.

At some point we realize that you're topping out at 6' and won't play in the NBA. Sure, that day was sad, but you saw it coming, and for that reason it was a simpler pill to swallow. Lives change over time and we adjust to what seems reasonably possible.

I realized that my career interests were in a far lower-paying field than one would dream of (education) so any thoughts of some big extravagant house, new car, and eating at Salt of the Earth every week basically went out the window. That's okay, though, because my circumstances have prepared me for frugal living and enjoying the little things. I commute on a bike, try to cook for myself instead of going out, and save my money for the occasional splurge on a good concert. I'll make more money some day, but my circumstances have allowed me to enjoy a life where money is not a driving force.

This idea extends further. In the job search, you will get turned down for interviews and jobs, but the only thing you can focus on is what's in front of you and not that great opportunity that wasn't given to you. That girl or boy that isn't interested in you, it's time to pick up and move on to find that person who is interested in you and worth your time. There's no sense crying about friends who have left, so we must enjoy the ones who are here and take time to visit the ones who are gone. We have to deal with the circumstances that are given to us.

One of my strongest character traits is that I keep things in perspective. I've mentioned plenty of times that God teaches us not to worry because He cares for the birds and the grass and everything in between, so surely He cares for us. Worrying does not get us anywhere, no matter how hard that is to hear. We could mope about the job we didn't get, the girl who doesn't like us, and the friends who have moved all over the country, but mourning our losses won't get us very far. For this reason, I handle death and funerals better than most people. They're gone, so there's nothing we can do now except celebrate the life our friend has lived.

I've been dealt some unfavorable circumstances over the past few years, but the only way to move on is to move on. Things are the way they are, we may not be able to change them, so we have to take the cards we are dealt and move forward. It's a scary concept, but God has our best interest in mind and will carry us through whatever arises in our lives.

Here is a beautiful song by The Head and the Heart singing about the way things change; Rivers and Roads:

Faith

2011-06-17T14:24:00.000-04:00

I have faith. More than I realized. You really learn how much faith you have when you take a "leap of faith" and make a risky move. In my job search, I've had two campus interviews for jobs so far, been offered both jobs, and turned them both down. They were not good fits. The locations were not appealing and the work was not what I've been looking for. The people were fantastic and I hope our paths cross again, but in the end it was a strong feeling of comfort when I turned the jobs down.

So I'm crazy right? Well, maybe I am. The fact is, though, that whether I should or not, I'm waiting for a good fit to take a job, even in this rough job market. Sure, I'm young and have my whole life in front of me, but I'm not the type of person who will sacrifice a good place and good friends for what seems like a lateral or downward movement. Give me community and I'll go. Give me an amazing city (ahem, Seattle) and I'll go. I'm young and single with what feels like the world in front of me. I guess I'm just not as willing to sacrifice as I should be.

But that's how God created me. He wants me to live life to the fullest and enjoy every moment, not sacrificing a second. I felt so overwhelmingly comfortable turning down each position that I did not question for a second whether it was the right move. I have an awesome community in Pittsburgh, Beaver County, and Philadelphia that I'll only leave for an exciting opportunity. But have no fear, employers, I am committed to only applying to jobs in exciting locations from now on!

In the meantime, I continue to pray. I'm praying for the right opportunity to come at the right time. I'm praying that I can soak up every second I have in Pittsburgh in case God leads me to a new location. In the end, all we have is today, so enjoy it.

Also, enjoy this jam about Faith by Taking Back Sunday:

The Saxifrage School

2011-06-06T17:08:00.000-04:00

The Saxifrage School was featured in the Sunday edition of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette on June 5, 2011. You can read the article here.

Basically, the Saxifrage School is the brainchild of a friend of mine, Tim Cook, who I met at Banjo Night at the Elks Club on the North Side in the summer of 2010. After telling Tim that I was studying Higher Education Management, he told me his idea for a stripped-down, bare essentials college that would be committed to developing a student's real-life skills. Being a very recent student myself, this struck me as a project that I wanted to contribute to, so I have been serving on the initial planning team since February.

As Tim has learned, along with the rest of us, starting a college is not simple, but our fearless leader has committed himself in a way that is inspirational. We don't need to be encouraged to power through to make the project possible; it is already beyond possible. This school will happen, it's just a matter of making sure this project is the strongest project we can create.

As the PG article describes, students will learn things like how to grow their own food or do house construction while reading literature, mastering Spanish, and living in community with a neighborhood of Pittsburgh. Here's the basic idea: a valuable, low-cost college education. As described on the School's homepage, the goal is to have dual-majors in an "academic" and a "technical" field and Spanish fluency for 400 students. (Read more ideas about academics here) The School plans to have 40 instructors whose salaries will be paid by a vast majority of the incoming tuition dollars. The Saxifrage School will operate with a nomadic campus with one or two administrative buildings while hosting classes in underutilized community spaces such as churches and bars. Students will rent living space in the community and work part-time jobs alongside their neighbors. The frills of student affairs will be cut down (or completely) as needed. This conservation of resources will result in an education-and-community based model that will cost students only $5000 in tuition.

Academically, the dual-majors will be a combination of two fields; one academic and one technical. The academic field choices are World Literature and Writing, International Systems, and Religion and Philosophy while the technical fields are Organic Agriculture, Computer Science, and Building Design and Construction. Students will have the opportunity to expand their intellectual horizons while learning practical skills that can be applied every day at home and the workplace.

The uphill battle is still ahead. Four teams have been developed to focus on the academics, fundraising, logistics, and community for the School. Between now and the anticipated opening in 2014, the Saxifrage School will choose a community in which to start, develop relationships with their neighbors, recruit instructors and students, develop academic programs, and raise a couple million dollars, among other items on the check-list.

A buzz is developing in the city of Pittsburgh, though, with special thanks to the Mattress Factory who has provided a complimentary headquarters for the Saxifrage School to use through at least mid-June in the old Firewaters location across from PNC Park. The General Will, as it's now called, has hosted a couple concerts combined with community conversations, a pair of shantyboating classes (the second of which is this Thursday), and will host an open IPO (Initial Public Offering) Party that is FREE to the public and scheduled for this Sunday, June 12 at 7pm. For more information on this party, check the Facebook event here.

This is the project in a nutshell. It's an exciting project being discussed by a group of young people who care about the future of education and Pittsburgh. Who knows how long I will be able to continue being a part of this project in Pittsburgh, but I'm thankful to have been here at the beginning and hope to contribute in any way I can, wherever I end up!

You can also read more about the Saxifrage School at our website.

You can also follow our Facebook and Twitter accounts.

Just checking in

2011-06-04T12:30:00.002-04:00

Life has been a whirlwind lately, so I'm sorry that I haven't been keeping up with the blogging like I thought I would! I'll be starting an intense 30-day blog challenge series, similar to the one my friend Abby has been doing, but I'm creating my own list to start. Look out for a blog coming about the ever-growing love for my favorite band, the Avett Brothers.

In the meantime, here's a new jam by those boys that they brought out at Stage AE in Pittsburgh last week.

Follow me on Twitter for more daily banterings: oh_hey_jake

Start of Unemployment

2011-05-11T11:24:00.000-04:00

My extreme extroversion feels like the death of me at work the last couple weeks. Things are slowing down mightily at work as students finish up classes and head home for the summer, so I return home every day completely drained of energy because my little back office with no windows in the basement of the UC at CMU is keeping me from any social interaction and driving me nuts!

I need some interaction, so how about you comment some answers to these questions?

What is some music I NEED to listen to today?

At the moment, I'm jamming a stream of the new Manchester Orchestra album (out yesterday) as well as Arcade Fire's performance at Coachella. These two bands are reminding me how much I need to create music, but I need some energy and inspiration first. I want to start a band so badly, but have no idea where I will live at the end of the summer, so it's virtually pointless to try at the moment. That will be one of my first endeavors in my new (or old) city!

What are some cool (cheap) things I should do while I'm unemployed for a while?

Tennis, painting, playing music, disc golf, cooking, and reading are already on the list. Give me some other ideas! I'll be poor, so the cheaper the better. I'm about to be unemployed for a yet-to-be-determined amount of time, so I could use some simple or elaborate ideas to utilize in Pittsburgh.

What makes you impatient?

My attention deficit is not designed for long periods of idleness, so my patience is being challenged by my lack of tasks in front of me as well as my job and future uncertainty on many levels. I know that I need to put my need for patience in God's hands or I'll continue down a slippery slope of insanity due to lack of stimuli.

Patience

2011-05-06T14:29:00.000-04:00

Lord, bring us patience to wait on your direction, for Your will is far better than ours.

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. - Romans 12:12

Life on Hold

2011-05-05T13:36:00.000-04:00

I haven't been writing as much as usual lately. My life has really been in limbo with the shock of graduation setting in. I have been so busy working on my last projects that I didn't give much thought to the fact that it would all be over at some point. Life is certainly different and I'm trying to figure out what those changes mean.

The moral of the story is that I'm in the middle of the waiting game for a while. I don't know where I'll be in July, August, or September. I should be starting a new job by then, but Lord only knows where that will be at this point. I cannot make plans that far in advance (although I did get a ticket for Taking Back Sunday and will get one for Death Cab for Cutie, too!). It's very unsettling to not know where life is going to take me, but I've never been one to wait for something to happen.

Fortune favors the bold. This is a statement I've written on my board at work and have been subscribing to a lot lately. I'm not one to put life on hold if I don't have to, so the fact is that this time of unemployment in Pittsburgh is about soaking it up and enjoying every second I can, not holding anything back. I plan on surrounding myself with important people in my life and doing all the things I've wanted to do but never had time for. Painting album covers on a cornhole set, checking out Pittsburgh restaurants, going to free summer events around town, riding my bike everywhere. This is the stuff I'll miss out on if I don't do it now.

I do not regret the things I've done, but those I did not do. - Lucas, Empire Records

In the end, I need patience. This time of uncertainty has to result in my reliance on God to take me where I'm meant to be. Otherwise, I've learned nothing.

Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to You I entrust my life. -Psalm 143:8

Facebook Fast Epilogue

2011-04-27T14:41:00.001-04:00

Well, the Facebook Fast has come and gone without much fanfare. In a move that has apparently become pretty popular, I gave up Facebook for Lent, lasting 40 days and culminating on Easter this past Sunday. Basically, I was spending too much time on the site doing nothing productive (looking around at pictures and checking statuses) so it was time to cut back.

Disconnection

To be honest, I did not miss the program much. I was wasting a lot of time on the site and wasn't really even using it to connect with people except new friends and to accept event invitations. My blog readership certainly went down because most people were clicking the link I'd put on Facebook before I quit. Aside from those things I really did not notice my life changing much.

In fact, I'd say it improved quite a bit! My feeling of needing to keep in touch with people was cut off immediately on Ash Wednesday when the fast started. I enjoyed being "off the map" as far as the Internet was concerned and preferred that people could not reach me as easily as they once could. It gave me a sense of freedom.

Connection

While the point of Facebook is to bring people together, I felt more connected with people once Facebook was removed from the equation. If I wanted to see someone, I had to call or email them. If I didn't have something to do, I'd have to text a few friends to see what their plans were. If an event was coming up that I didn't know about, I'd have to rely on friends to tell me or go out and find it. As a result, I started dispersing the duties of Facebook to other things like Twitter and simple word-of-mouth.

When Death Cab for Cutie announced their Pittsburgh date yesterday, I heard about it on Twitter because that is the site that is giving me my breaking news now. My friend's going away party that was advertised on Facebook? Other friends told me.

Did I miss stuff? Probably. You know, like all those concerts and open mics that I am invited to and never attend. And all those people who had babies that I was not aware were even pregnant. Something's telling me it won't matter much if I missed that some girl and some guy from high school that I haven't seen in 7 years are now engaged or dating or complicated or moving to Kansas or back in town or starting a new communist state in the south of Nova Scotia. If it's important, someone will tell me.

Music for Music's Sake

2011-04-20T16:30:00.000-04:00

When do you listen to music? In the car on the way to work? On your computer at work? While you're making dinner? When was the last time you sat down and just plain listened to music with no other distractions?

For being such a lover of music, I realized recently that I rarely listen to music for the sake of listening to music. Music is always something added to a another activity as filler. My attention span is bad, so I need to have at least two stimuli to keep me from losing my mind. Sometimes, though, music needs to be fully experienced on its own to get the full effect.

Saturday was Record Store Day across America. Music stores had some rare merchandise and performances to celebrate the record. I sifted through the vinyls when I stopped in at The Exchange in Squirrel Hill and came across a lot of great records. But they were records I already had on CD or on my computer, so why would I need a vinyl copy? I can't even put those tunes on my iPod! I saw Come on Feel the Illinoise! by Sufjan Stevens in this selection and decided that someone needed to own it, so I got it for my roommate, Andy Redfield. Once I got it, though, I thought about how great it would be to just invite some friends over to listen to the album. Where have the days gone when we just got together to listen to music and talk about it. We rarely sit back and think about what the music makes us feel.

This realization was reinforced by the broadcasting of the Coachella festival in California this past weekend. Many of the biggest acts were broadcast, such as The Black Keys, Bright Eyes, and The National. On Saturday I watched the Friday performances while working on a paper. Saturday night I did the same, but we set aside time to watch Mumford and Sons plugged into Andy's TV late that evening. I even stayed up until about 3am to watch the beginning of Arcade Fire's set.

Sunday night I was really hit with an overwhelming appreciation for music. The Strokes performed at 12am EST and I sat up at my parents' house all night watching. The Strokes aren't a particularly entertaining live band and generally rely on their incredible music to speak for itself. The camera work on the broadcast was intriguing because it was all in black-and-white and stayed zoomed in on certain members of the band the entire time, unlike the other performances. The music was encapsulating and I loved every riff and scream. After a while, I just laid in bed watching and enjoying. No other time have I ever just watched a concert so intently.

I've been babbling quite a bit, but here's my challenge for you. Pick your favorite album and just listen to it. Listen to it a few times. Listen to the intricacies and the lyrics and the details that made you fall in love with it. I've been experiencing Funeral and The Suburbs by Arcade Fire over and over again and they keep getting better and better. There is nothing more invigorating than beautiful music.

A Walk Down Memory Lane

2011-04-14T09:00:00.000-04:00

Hopefully I'll be coming up with a real post soon, but for this Thursday morning I'd like to take a walk down memory lane for some of my favorite posts:

My first post. I don't know how much I love it, but this post came at a big turning point in my life after I had left my youth ministry job in Mars with intentions of moving back to the city and eventually starting graduate school. A lot has changed since then (like, umm, graduation in 17 days), but I still definitely prefer an urban atmosphere like I did then.

My post-Seattle remarks. Visiting anywhere out west will definitely make you want to go sometimes. Who knows if I'll ever end up in Seattle, or anywhere west of the Mississippi, but if I do it will be a result of this trip.

A letter to my friends and family. This was written in remembrance of a great friend, Caleb Altmire. We miss you, brother.

Have a great Thursday! I hope to bring you some new, original thoughts soon. In the meantime, follow me on Twitter!

Scattered Thoughts

2011-04-08T15:47:00.000-04:00

I am feeling a little under-the-weather today, so that warrants some random thoughts that are basically unrelated.

1. I don't really want to share any details about the job search in a public forum because I have a few different exciting positions I'm in the process of interviewing for. No favoritism that the Internet needs to know about!

2. That being said, it's hard to keep up with the ever-growing world of social media, as described in a recent blog post for my job at CMU. You have to keep a clean-sheet on the Internet, keeping an eye on everything you said and do that will represent who you are. Make sure to Google yourself and see what comes up!

3. My friend Abby made a cool blog post about the 5 Love Languages yesterday, which I really enjoyed exploring again. The 5 Love Languages explores how we show affection and how we prefer to be shown affection. Contrary to what some believe, Physical Touch tends to be my strongest LL. Quality Time and Words of Affirmation aren't far behind. So let's go get coffee, greet me with a hug, and tell me how cool my shoes are. Check the survey out for yourself here!

4. Schoolwork and the job search are piling up in April, so I'm sorry if I don't see you before then! I look forward to graduation on May 1st and East End Brewery's Keg Ride on May 7th; a great way to kick of summer in Pittsburgh!

5. Check out my friend Monica's blog that she just started the other day. We share a lot of the same thoughts about social networking.

6. I love "Maps" by Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Check it:

Risk in Faith

2011-03-31T22:24:00.000-04:00

My friend Jesse Struck said something very interesting today when we were having coffee. "If there weren't risk in faith, it wouldn't be faith." Currently in the middle of my job search, this statement is ringing truer now than ever before.

I had a few interviews for positions this past week at the ACPA Conference for college professionals. The positions are in different areas within Student Affairs and in different areas of the country; sometimes areas that I hadn't considered before. Aside from the conference, I have been applying to positions all over the country over the past few weeks. I really don't know where I want to end up, to be honest. So many positions sound exciting and every location I've applied to is of interest to me for different reasons. I love Pittsburgh, but must be open to the possibility that I will not have the option to stay.

There is certainly risk in making any of these decisions, though. Going to a new place is a risk because I'd have to start fresh. Staying put is a risk because I don't know what lies ahead for my life in Pittsburgh. What I do know is that I must have faith that God will lead me to the right position in the right location at the right time. Like many other decisions in my life, it is extremely difficult to have this sort of faith, but also extremely calming and reassuring that I believe in a God who has my best interest in mind.

Album Anticipation

2011-03-25T11:38:00.001-04:00

A few exciting things happened this week, including receiving invitations for interviews for jobs at CMU (Student Activities position that I mentioned last week) and at Pitt. The nerves are running wild as I get prepared to interview for two awesome positions, but they may have been outshined by the anticipation I had built for the new album from The Strokes that came out on Tuesday, Angles. Below you can hear the first killer single, "Under Cover of Darkness".

Technology has changed the way we experience new music. Albums leak, bands put tracks on their Myspace page, or we can see the bands playing tunes on late night shows, all before the album is released. This has basically eliminated the anticipation we can feel for buying that album the day it comes out, except for the rare occurrences like Sufjan Stevens and Radiohead who keep their release under wraps until a few days before it happens.

Tuesday I went to The Exchange in Oakland and picked up Angles, paying more than I'd like. It was worth it, though, with the first uber-80s blast that comes from the album's first track, "Machu Picchu" and the soothing calm that overcame me with the second track, "Under Cover of Darkness". I had been feeling nostalgic (surprise, surprise) about the days when buying CDs was the way to go and there was no way to hear the album before its release. I can still remember the day I bought Blindside's About a Burning Fire in 2004. The explosion in my ears from the opening track, "Eye of the Storm", sent chills of excitement up my spine.

I wanted to recapture this feeling, so I do not plan on listening to any album before its release if I plan to buy that album without hearing it anyway. I'll allow myself one song, just to get that excitement rolling. Taking Back Sunday, Death Cab for Cutie, Bon Iver, this means you! You can hear a track from the new TBS here and a live performance of a new DCFC track here.

Job Search

In other news...the ACPA Conference is this coming week, so I'll be in Baltimore trying to make some connections for possible job opportunities. Most importantly this week, I'll begin the interview process for the aforementioned Student Activities job at CMU, which is a top pick at this point. I'd love the opportunity to stay in Pittsburgh longer and get my feet wet with some students with whom I can easily relate in a position that will be busy and far from monotonous. My love for college radio and student activities at-large are getting me very excited for this interview!

On the other hand, I do have opportunities elsewhere, including a meeting about a career counseling position at Virginia Tech. I'm broadening my horizons to see what other cities, schools, and jobs are out there, so pray for me during this process!

Sports

Also, did anyone see the Arizona-Duke game last night? Derrick Williams is a monster. I am getting stoked for their match-up with Kemba Walker and UConn on Saturday night. These are the types of players Pitt needs to recruit in order to get to the next level. UConn is not a better team than Pitt this year, but Kemba Walker is the type of game-changer that Pitt has never had, which is why they're still playing in this tournament.

A post by Donald Miller

2011-03-24T09:58:00.000-04:00

It's been a little longer than usual since my last blog, I think, and that's not really going to change yet. I'm pretty bogged down with applying for jobs, keeping up with school, and trying to relax enough to recharge my battery.

So instead, here's a link to today's post from Donald Miller's blog. It's a brief, insightful look into a subject I've considered many times: the reality of death. Like many of my posts about it before, Don talks about the drive death gives him to live life to the fullest. Check it out and check back soon for a new post!

J'eet review at EatPGH

2011-03-19T14:45:00.000-04:00

I wrote a review of J'eet in Bloomfield on the eatPGH website. Check it out here!

Friday

2011-03-18T15:12:00.000-04:00

Nothing much better than a Friday for one of the first beautiful days in this year's edition of Spring, right? Riding to work was enviable today cruising down Craig Street on my World Sport this morning with the 63 degree air engulfing my frame. After a winter of trudging 30 minutes in the snow to get to CMU, I cannot think of better weather to take my 12-minute bike ride to work than today. Here are a few beautiful thoughts on this beautiful Friday:

March Madness, of course! Today is the second day of the 68-team tournament. Basketball is my favorite sport and the next three weekends are the most demonstrative displays of human emotion you'll see in sports all year. The buzzer-beaters, the upsets, the money pools, and the hope that Pitt will finally make that elusive Final Four. When my job search ends, I know that the first two days of the tournament will be the first vacation days I try to land. I've worked Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve; not a big deal. Yesterday and today? I'd rather be on my couch.

Finding a killer job. I have found a lot of really cool jobs during the past week of job searching, but the best one may have been found in a final gasp of applications. The position is a Coordinator for Student Activities at CMU. This coordinator will be the adviser for WRCT (CMU radio), cmuTV, the Activities Board, and a few other programs. Being the staff adviser for CMU's radio station and Activities Board would be a perfect fit for me. I love engaging students with on-campus activities and I absolutely loved my time at Pitt's radio station, WPTS. I love music and students who love music, so this position is at the top of my wish list.

Facebook fasting. Today is Day 9 of the fast and I barely miss Facebook. It was an enormous waste of time and I've been plenty more productive in my life since the fast started. The most unexpected effect is that I am valuing my alone time far more than I ever have. Facebook would fill the white space of my personal time with a gray area of social interaction. Instead of wasting time on Facebook, I've been applying for jobs, playing music, and enjoying time reading or with friends.

This weather. Mid-60s and sunny. Perfect for biking to the Union Grill after work for a Rogue Dead Guy Ale and March Madness with my buddy Jordan.

What are some other beautiful things about this beautiful Friday?

#letsgopitt

March Madness

2011-03-13T14:15:00.000-04:00

Today is one of the most exciting days of the year for the die-hard college basketball fan: Selection Sunday. My interest in the NCAA tournament has been exponentially lower over the past few years as my number of night shifts went up, but I'm back on track this season. I've watched more college basketball in the last 3 days than possible the last 2 or 3 years combined.

In preparing for the march madness pools, I have a handful of trends and suggestions that could be helpful. I am no expert, believe me, but I have had my fair share of success when my eye was on the college basketball world more in high school and college. These aren't getting too specific for this year, but instead they're just some thoughts for picking the tournament in general.

Watch out for teams seeded too high.

If you were to look at some of the major upsets over the past ten years, the teams losing have been teams that got a seed they may not have been suited for: Ole Miss losing to Valparaiso, South Carolina losing to Coppin State, and Iowa State losing to Hampton. This also applies to teams who make a run in the conference tournament and run out of gas. A prime example of this theory is the 2005-2006 Syracuse team with Gerry McNamara who won 4 games in 4 days to win the Big East Tournament. They were seeded 5th (too high) and lost to Texas A&M in the first round. Keep an eye out for the Penn States and Uconn's this year because they may get a seed they may not have deserved.

Pick teams to win sub-regions before you get set on an upset or two...

What I mean by sub-regions are the 4-team pods from the first weekend (like, the 1, 16, 8 and 9 seeds in a given region). Maybe you really want to look brilliant like you did last year with Cornell and St. Mary's in the Sweet Sixteen, so you're thinking you like a Penn State. They made a nice run in the Big Ten tournament, showed they could play, so maybe they've got a couple wins in 'em. Well, maybe their sharp-shooting has one more, but watch out for that second round match-up with a Louisville or Florida. Chances are that these teams that an 11 or 12 seed will run into are built for long runs and you don't want to knock out a real contender 4 or 5 seed just to look good with a 1-point first round upset.

...but don't be afraid to put a double-digit seed in the Sweet Sixteen.

Since 1996, there has been at least one double-digit seed in the Sweet Sixteen every year, except once (2007). These lower-achieving top-conference teams (Seton Hall, Georgetown) and high-achieving mid-majors (Butler, Gonzaga) shake things up every year. Pick the right one and you're a genius. Pick the wrong one and you may eliminate the national champion dangerously early.

5-12 match-ups (almost) always produce one upset per year.

This is a common truth in the last 10 years. Almost every year we get a 12-seed knocking off a 5-seed, so look for a good one. Or two. Or three, like in 2002 and 2009. Five-seeds tend to be vulnerable because these seeds tend to be top teams from second-tier conferences (Atlantic 10, Mountain West) or second-tier teams from top conferences (Providence, Alabama, Florida State in past years). With a weak overall tournament this year, the 5-seeds should be particularly careful with projections of Arizona (young team with no key wins) and Xavier (weak top-seed bowing out in first round of A-10 tournament) standing out.

Your Final Four teams are 8x more important than your first round winners.

In the standard scoring (1, 2, 4, 8, 16, 32) the first round upsets get too much attention from casual basketball fans. Those of us who have been doing tournament pools for a while recognize that you're not done until your champion is out. So, maybe a bunch of teams get upset in the first round, but you didn't have any of them winning more than a game or two anyways. This clearly won't matter as much as if you had Villanova in the finals last year and they lost in the second round to St. Mary's (I picked St. Mary's btw!).

Most importantly, you can lose a lot of points in the first few rounds and still win if your Final Four is in tact. The eight upsets your buddy picked correctly in the first round got wiped out when they picked Pitt in the Final Four in 2009 and you picked Villanova. Which brings me to my next point...

Pick your favorite teams with your head...

As any good Pitt fan knows, we just can't put them in the Final Four. Until 2009, we couldn't put them in the Elite Eight and expect results. We have a blinded view of how good our favorite team is, which makes it hard to be objective. My strategy tends to be that I'll pick them to lose early so if they win I can be surprised and if they lose I can at least not kick myself for picking them to go further. But double-check and think, can Pitt's frontcourt really match up with Purdue? Could they survive another match-up with Louisville?

...but go with your gut.

1-seeds don't always win, so at times you need to go with a feeling about how a team will fare. I had a feeling about St. Mary's going far last year and Villanova choking, which paid off. I also had a feeling about Cornell surprising a couple, which also paid off. This year, I'm not high on Ohio State, so chances are I won't have them in the Final Four. But college basketball is all about match-ups. Be smart, but ultimately go with your gut. You don't want to be sitting around saying "I almost picked Kansas over Memphis" in 2008 because no one cares about "almost". I also won the lottery, too, but that surely doesn't pay for a new Gibson Les Paul.

Ultimately, you will have your own style. I haven't won a pool in a while, but I've been in the running for a lot of money over the years, so my style has worked at times. Do your homework. Figure out who the hot shooters are and which teams have struggled down the stretch (ahem, Villanova...). Never count out a Jimmer Fredette (BYU), but keep an eye on teams that lose important players late in the season (BYU). See what I mean about relying on your gut instead of your head?

Day 3

2011-03-11T11:09:00.001-05:00

Today starts Day 3 of the Facebook Fast. To be honest, I don't miss it. My absence from the internet while in Boston earlier in the week made it easy to ween myself off of the time-destroyer. Last night I saw Sleep Experiments at the 31st Street Pub and today I'm having lunch with a friend. My quest for social interaction is producing immediate results, even though I'd probably do these things anyways.

Yesterday was far more productive as a result of the fast. Aside from grocery shopping, I was doing tons of job-searching. Our good friend, Tom Corbett, is trying to eliminate two of my main application-receivers, Pitt and Temple, so I've started to look outside Pennsylvania for jobs a lot more. Today I'll be putting in applications at UC San Diego and UCLA. Other schools on the list are Northeastern, Boston University, Drexel, and the University of Washington.

I have developed a short list of cities I'll consider moving to if I can't get a job in Pittsburgh (although I'd prefer to stay in the Steel City). That list is Boston, Philadelphia, Seattle, Portland, Denver, and various places in California.

Give me some insight! Which of these cities are best to live in? What are some cool colleges in these areas?

Boston seems like a great city, especially if I could get a Resident Director job at one of their schools and not have to pay for housing. I walked all over Beacon Hill and into Downtown on Monday night. The city is very walkable and bikeable, depending on where you're going. But that's most places, right?

Facebook Fasting

2011-03-03T12:37:00.001-05:00

I'm giving up Facebook for Lent. That means on Wednesday I'm letting a friend change my password and de-activate my account so I cannot use it for 40 days. You won't be able to contact me using it, either! This could be suicide for my blog because I know so many of you find the link in my Facebook statuses, so I'd love to ask you to bookmark the page or follow me on Twitter (oh_hey_jake) to make sure you keep reading new posts while I'm "gone".

So why do it? Well, I think you know the answer to that question. We all waste so much time using Facebook. It's become a habit or, worse, an addiction. When I'm typing a paper I'll click over to it every few minutes to see what's changed. The issue is, though, that nothing important has happened! Rarely do I click over and see something that is life-changing and/or not something I would have encountered without Facebook. I read about so-and-so getting a new job or what's-her-name getting engaged or that-one-guy complaining about something-or-other. None of this is consequential to my life and I fear that I am also posting the same inconsequential material about my own life.

As I've discussed in previous posts, social networking has changed the way we interact with people. I need to re-center my interactions, remove myself from the computer, and remember what it's like to have real, important, genuine relationships with people. I do not believe that I am having ingenuine relationships at the moment, but I feel that they can get better.

Instead of writing on someone's wall, I should get a beer with them.
Instead of shooting someone a Facebook message, I should pick up the phone and call.
Instead of "liking" their comments, I should go visit them and see what other comments they have.
Instead of "friending" a nice young lady that I think is cool, I should just ask her out to lunch.

I don't think I've used Facebook incorrectly, but I think I can do better.

I look forward to this sacrifice. It will be a way to divert my wasted time back to my schoolwork during the home stretch, but more importantly it will be a way to reset the way I look at interactions. If you want to get a hold of me, give me a call or send me an email. I'll be back, but with a new way of looking at my relationships with people. You should do it, too!

Basketball

2011-02-28T13:13:00.001-05:00

Last night I went to play basketball at my friend Scott's church with a bunch of guys he knows from church and Geneva College. It's a weekly game on Sunday nights that has become a staple to my week. I told a few people where I was going when I bolted out of church to head to Mars last night and they commented on how far I was going, which is about a 40 minute drive. Why would I drive so far just to play basketball?

Basketball has been my favorite sport since I was in elementary school because it's always been that release. It's the constant grind that intrigues me. It isn't like soccer or football in that one or two plays can have immense impact on the outcome of a game. To win a basketball game, you have to beat your opponent the entire time. Sure, you'll lose some points on a lot of defensive trips, but because there is so much scoring in basketball it's all about who can do it more over the whole time. In hockey, a few bad bounces can lose a game for a team who may have outplayed their opponent. In baseball, a few bad pitches can change a pitcher's game from a no-hitter to a 5-run loss. These things don't happen in basketball.

Sundays aren't just basketball, though. They're a release. Sunday is my sabbath. I do no work and no worrying on Sundays. Basketball is a way to release the frustrations of the work week and to get re-energized for the week ahead.

The game is so much about rhythm and momentum, just like life. Some nights you can't miss a shot and everything is going your way. Some nights you feel like no shots are going your way and you just keep turning the ball over. The same goes in basketball and life to get out of those ruts. You just have to fight. You get your nose in there, box out the people trying to beat you, and you get that rebound. Then you go back up and try to score again and again until you do. Sometimes the good nights come along without trying and sometimes you have to work hard to win.

In the end, it's just a game, and that's what I love about it. In that moment, all that matters in life is taking the ball and scoring no matter what. There's no school, no job, no relationships, nothing but you, the ball, and 9 other guys trying to do the same thing. You can forget about the world for a few hours and emerge feeling accomplished, whether you won or lost.

We all go back to our lives at the end of the night knowing that we'll all be back again next week with the same goal: winning.

Blog Spotlight: eatPGH

2011-02-24T15:40:00.002-05:00

I want to start a semi-regular spotlight on the many blogs that I keep up with. Many of my friends are entertaining and talented, so I read a lot of my friends' blogs about everything from Trader Joe's to running (even though I don't run, per say).

An activity that I do partake in, though, is eating. Waiting tables and watching food shows like Top Chef has given me a deep appreciation for good food. Whether that food is gourmet like on TV or your standard burger done right, I love it all!

The girls at eatPGH feel the same way, which is what's drawn me to their writing! My friend, Laura Zorch, is one of the four main contributors to this blog started a couple years ago. Born out of a love for eating out and cooking in, these ladies have been writing about recipes and restaurants all over Pittsburgh.

They have no agenda besides informing Pittsburgh of what they enjoy, so you know that what you see is what you get on this page. When they say that the salmon at Willow is amazing, believe it. Or when they tell you that Burgh'ers in Harmony is worth the hour-long drive, then plan for a long evening out.

Check it out. Snoop around. The restaurants are divided by geographic location, so it's easy to navigate and find some spots in your neighborhood. I particularly enjoy the 99 Things to Eat in Pittsburgh Before You Die post.

Snow

2011-02-21T23:57:00.001-05:00

There's something naturally beautiful about snow. One of the most unbelievably peaceful moments is in the evening after a fresh, deep snowfall when the only thing that can be heard is the sound of fresh flakes landing on their brothers and sisters upon the ground. The silence and stillness engulfs the scene and makes you feel like there is no one remaining in the world. Encountering another human in an evening like this feels like you have both survived a natural disaster where the entire world has become frozen in time.

Moving out of my parents' house again when I started graduate school was a natural step and I was excited to be back in the city, but the quiet scene of a suburban snowfall is one that I miss dearly. I remember one time two winters ago when I looked out of my bedroom window and only saw snow where there was once grass and asphalt. You could not determine where the yard ended and the road began at our normally-busy intersection. What set apart my parents' scene from others were the street lights hitting the ground faintly, creating light amidst otherwise pitch black; illuminating the white ground in a heavenly shine. It was a sea of white with no inhabitants to be seen.

Just like Snowpocalypse last year, I didn't expect the amount of snow we were granted with tonight. Snowfall is even more impressive when it comes without warning (to me), so I was in awe every time I peered out our windows to greet the downpour. I didn't get the best snapshot but you get the idea of the stillness on our inactive street. What a beautiful scene!

Concert Anticipation

2011-02-14T18:57:00.001-05:00

In the last 5 days I've been to 4 concerts. Tonight I add to the total. First I saw two friends' bands, Sleep Experiments and Whiskey Holler on Wednesday and Thursday. Then I saw Hellogoodbye on Saturday and Titus Andronicus on Sunday. Tonight is the crown jewel: Jimmy Eat World. All of these shows were fantastic in their own ways, being in a variety of venues (library, dive bar, ex-church, college ballroom, dance club, respectively) and featuring a variety of tunes and fans. Tonight, though, the anticipation is immense.

Jimmy Eat World is one of my all time favorites and they are still blowing it up after all these years. I first saw them in 2002 at Metropol (now Club Zoo) with some friends from Blade Runners when I was a junior in high school. They blew my mind. Energy, musicianship, songwriting; it was all emotionally moving. Fans were in love with what they saw on stage. Five years later I saw them at the Carnegie Library Music Hall in Homestead, which is arguably the coolest venue in Pittsburgh. They still had it down and were killing it on stage. There was a wide range of favorites played from almost every album dating back to 1999. But they stuck with what worked, which was the hits from Bleed American.

Tonight, the anticipation is high. After seeing four very different and very good bands this week, it all climaxes with one of the best. It's how you feel when you're about to run out for the opening tip of a basketball game. The butterflies are there, but you can't help jumping all over the room with excitement. I already saw the set lists from the last few shows, which has killed the mystery, but the fact is that even without the element of surprise Jimmy will still blow me away. I never get to shows early (except for the Avett Brothers), but I'll be there 30 minutes before the openers hit the stage because I don't want to miss a lick from David Bazan, either. I simply cannot wait to hear that first riff!

What makes you so excited that you bounce off the walls in anticipation?

Haluski

2011-02-13T16:32:00.002-05:00

I feel left behind on the food-blog front, so I thought I'd give you all the simplest recipe I know and can do well: haluski!

Haluski is a traditional eastern European dish with a few cheap main ingredients: cabbage, noodles, and butter (plus onions, usually). I like to make it for the potluck dinner night at church because it's simple, doesn't take long, and can be healthy depending on how much butter is used.

Ingredients:
one medium green cabbage
one medium white onion
one bag of egg noodles, 12-16 oz
butter, to taste
minced garlic

Today's optional ingredients:
1/2-1 green pepper
thyme
basil
salt
pepper

Boil 3 quarters of water to start
Add noodles and cook to desired firmness

Quarter and chop cabbage, preferably into a 1"x1" size
Chop onion (and other veggies) into small pieces
Saute cabbage and vegetables separately using butter, vegetable oil, or olive oil (preferred)
Add garlic and other spices to taste (or after combining everything)

Drain noodles and return to pot
Add sauteed cabbage and vegetables to noodles
Add spices again, to taste
Add butter, to taste (approximately 1/2 stick)

Mix and enjoy!

Female Lead Singers

2011-02-12T14:19:00.001-05:00

Lately I've been really into indie bands with female vocalists. I used to strongly prefer male vocalists, but bands like Gold Motel, Turning Violet Violet (Philly) Big Hurry, and Sleep Experiments (the latter two from Pittsburgh) have been tugging at my heart strings lately. There is a certain combination of sensuality, compassion, and emotion that naturally shines through on female vocals. And, let's be honest, females have much prettier voices than the nicest male vocalist.

The girls in these and other bands add a sense of innocent fun to the mix. The tracks give that light-hearted, soft, beautiful feeling when these ladies sing with their heart. Having these women leading the charge makes you feel lot less like it's a boy's club that they're a part of. Without them, these bands wouldn't exist. The strength in hearing their words coming from their mouths instead of a male vocalist gives you that "independent woman" sense that Beyonce brought along, only in a more behind-the-scenes "I don't need to say I'm an independent woman to be independent" sort of way.

My favorite, and biggest crush in music, is Emily Moore, who also plays for the band fun.. Check her Myspace. My favorite track is "Tough Luck". Jack is sweet and Ginger's lookin' mighty fine...

Who is your favorite band with a female lead vocalist?

Inspiration

2011-02-10T09:29:00.003-05:00

My inspiration has been drained lately. Sitting in front of a computer with or without a guitar, I find myself struggling to create beauty. Observations run rampant through my blogs and songwriting has become a memory. The spark has been absent, in my opinion. My writing has been based on fact and not invention.

School has drained me. School and the job search. I don't feel exhausted like I expected, but I certainly do not spend an extra minute to channel my creativity and take advantage of my free time like I have in the past. I have to force myself to pick up the guitar. Reading for pleasure has fallen far, far away, even on my lunch breaks.

It's time to get out the big guns. Time to stop in every used bookstore I can find until I locate the first piece of fiction that got me excited to write; Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut. The language, the interweaving story, the tongue-in-cheek satire. This is what writing is all about!

Time for me to get it, read it, and remember what's important about writing. Academic papers will get you grades. Creative writing will channel emotion.

What or who is your biggest inspiration?

Some Monday Thoughts

2011-02-07T15:49:00.001-05:00

I haven't written anything in here for a week, so I thought it was time. Maybe I'll elaborate on these things soon, but here's what's on my mind today.

Academia
Life has been a series of to-do lists lately, without an end very near. This mostly happens because I have to do weekly responses for readings in three classes every week, so once the weekend ends it is back to the grind. I don't worry about grades much anymore because I feel like I have as much of an understanding of higher education as Pitt will teach me in the classroom, so it's just a matter of applying the new knowledge to what I already know and writing papers about it. It's not that I'm some master of higher education knowledge, it's just that the work is so neverending right now that I can't afford to dwell very much.

What have you been learning lately?

Job Searching
Most of my learning about the world is coming from work and the job search. I've been stressing about resumes and cover letters so much that it's making it seem like it doesn't matter whether I can actually excel at a job or not. It's more a matter of convincing someone through written and spoken word that I can do it. Applying and interviewing for jobs is an odd skill that we all must master in order to land that first job. I don't like playing "the game" and try to stick to my genuine guns when I apply, so hopefully that will get me as far as I need to go.

What's been your favorite job so far?

Sports
The Steelers lost the Super Bowl last night. This would have been a demoralizing event a few years ago when my happiness was dictated by the success of my favorite teams, but fortunately I've found some other meaning in life so things have carried on. Or maybe it's because the Steelers have six Super Bowls, so I can live with a loss here and there. Now it's time to build up my hopes for Pitt basketball just in time to have my soul crushed in March, again.

What team determines your happiness/sadness most?

Tunes
Today I stumbled upon a few sets of tunes I haven't listened to in a while. Nine Black Alps are a British band I listened to when I DJed for WPTS a few years ago. Your standard British alt-rock quartet (I think?) that plays some dirty rock and roll. I rediscovered my love for Matt Pond PA and The Shins as homework-music, too. New Strokes album next month, which should be worth looking forward to.

Listen to an album today that you haven't spun in a while!

Faith
I've been negative about a lot of things lately, so God's challenged me to knock it off. This world isn't about me and what I want. I'm here to bring people together to worship God and thank Him for Jesus Christ, but I've let my selfish thoughts get in the way. Time to act like I'm following God's lead, not just saying it.

Has God been telling you anything that you didn't want to hear?

Carpe Diem
Three months until graduation. No idea where I'll end up, but I'm excited to find out. Chances are I'll stay in Pittsburgh, but incredible opportunities in Boston, Portland, Seattle, or Philadelphia could pull me in a new direction. No matter where I end up, I need to take advantage of the days I have in Pittsburgh. I've been talking with my friend, Alicia, who is graduating from Boston College this semester, and we agree that we need to do exciting things in our respective towns before a possible departure, or at least life change. It's been refreshing to make sure I do something out-of-the-ordinary and take advantage of Pittsburgh while I'm here.

Give me ideas for cool things to do in Pittsburgh before I leave. (You know, a Pittsburgh bucket list)

Sabbath

2011-01-31T09:53:00.001-05:00

I've been worn out lately. Days are filled with work, schoolwork, and job applications. If I'm not doing one of those things, then I'm definitely stressing about how I should be doing one of them. My prospects of staying in Pittsburgh are not strong at the moment, so I worry about where I'll end up and daydream about how sad my last day in Pittsburgh would be. These are the sort of things that will weigh on your heart and make day-to-day life an emotional challenge.

In combating the weariness I've been overcome with, God has shown Himself to me in a lot of ways this week.

A week ago, my good friend Robby started a discipleship group that focuses on readings from the Philokalia, which is a collection of writings by Eastern Orthodox monks in the 4th and 5th centuries. I am admittedly not an intellectual when it comes to my faith, so the idea of going in-depth with the readings seemed like more of a chore than anything, especially with a lot of other things on my plate. The meeting, though, was fruitful. Robby felt called to include four guys from our church who aren't necessarily close with one another, which was a blessing. The reading last week focused on watchfulness and being aware of our thoughts and how God is active around us. This was a great kick-start to my week.

In the wake of this meeting, I began reading my devotional consistently (My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers). On Tuesday, Chambers told me to seek God, but not to expect Him to come in a particular way. This is a struggle because we WANT Him to come in a particular way, which is why we ask Him for things in prayer. But I knew He'd be faithful, so I watched and waited. On that day, I was rejected for a second interview in the career office where I work at CMU. While this seems like a set-back, it was actually a blessing. I learned on this day that I needed to find a job I'd love, not just one that would get me along. On Monday, I came across a position I'd found at Berklee College of Music. On Tuesday, I found excitement. God used this adversity to show me that it's possible to get excited about work.

Wednesday and Thursday, with the stress of the job search on my shoulders, Chambers reminded me not to worry. He reminded me that God "clothes the grass of the field" and reminded me to look at "the birds in the air" because these things are taken care of by God himself. If they are cared for, of course I will be.

The week eventually ended, but my stress did not. Saturday morning found me at the coffeeshop doing work and stressing all day. I barely enjoyed the evening because I was worrying too much. But then I remembered what I tell my RISE students; when you're working, work hard, but when you're relaxing, relax. Scheduling time to do each will help us to produce fruitful times of work and play.

So Sunday was a sabbath day for me, despite the fact that I had a lot of work on my plate and would have benefited from a day of schoolwork. I went to my friends' recording session, played drums at an incredible service at the Open Door with close friends, and winded down with an evening of basketball with other close friends. I could write an entire blog about Sunday alone.

The point, after all this, is that on the seventh day, God rested!

Who on earth are we to deny ourselves a day of rest per week if God Himself did not deny such a break from His own work?

Saturday, I was such a robot that I could not enjoy my fun evening. So Sunday, I rested and enjoyed every minute of it. Today, I am well-rested and prepared to face the week ahead with fervor. My work has piled up a bit, but as usual God has provided plenty of time for me to do it. What's the worst that could happen? Turning in an assignment late? If I had a dollar for every assignment I turned in late, I could probably buy a new computer to do more late assignments.

Grant yourself a sabbath this week. Follow God's example. He needed a break and so do we.

my only social commentary on war

2011-01-25T13:05:00.001-05:00

The other day I watched Full Metal Jacket, which is an extremely well-made film by Stanley Kubrick about soldiers in the Vietnam War. This was one of the most intense movies I've ever seen, not because the story was engaging or because I was on the edge of my seat, but because these things actually happened.

Full Metal Jacket was disgusting. For those who haven't seen it, the film depicts many of the horrors of war. Merciless killing in completely fictional movies like Die Hard or 28 Days Later are gruesome, but at the end of the day there's no such thing as zombies or John McClane. The thought passing through my consciousness throughout the film was that these boys really did this. The drill sergeant making his Marines feel like nothing more than killing machines; the Vietnamese women selling their bodies for a few American dollars; the decision to leave behind fallen soldiers whose real names were not common knowledge, but were rather known by pseudonyms. On top of all that, so many of these men did not know why they were in Vietnam besides to kill "gooks". Those who had the best non-homicidal response thought that they were there to fight for freedom, which is still argued today. Would we all be Communist today if it weren't for the American forces in Vietnam; a "war" which many believe the Americans lost?

This film depicts the horrors that have become far too common in regard to war. Not only that, there are too many similarities between 1960s Vietnam and 2000s Middle East to overlook this film as a social commentary almost 25 years later. Today, men are enlisting for service for many reasons; reasons which I do not know or understand because I am among the last Americans who would ever enlist. In the film, and possibly today, they are ridiculed into believing the only good they serve is as killing machines. Their personalities are erased by their nicknames and the identity they take in their new lives. Soldiers come home with PTSD struggling to remember what life was like before battle.

Whether you believe in the United States' involvement in wars or not is a subject that could be discussed up and down, side to side, and still not resolved. Some believe that there is no cause worth going to war over. Some believe that for evil to be halted the United States must take this action. I can see both sides of the argument.

Regardless, this movie helped to show me what has happened. Innocent people were being killed like they are in a video game. Soldiers were looking for any way to be numbed about what they were experiencing. People often fought without knowing what they were fighting for.

This still happens today and it has to stop. As a Christian, I am called to love my neighbor. Is Kim Jong-Il my neighbor? Was Saddam Hussein my neighbor? Are you my neighbor? Yes to all. We are also called to not kill, but we're told that this extreme form of pacifism is not possible in today's society if evil dictators are to be stopped. The voice of reason is a quiet one when there are nuclear weapons involved.

I support our troops and our government as an American. I do not, however, support killing our fellow man for any reason. How do I blend the two together?

Speak softly and carry a big stick. - Theodore Roosevelt

Love your neighbor as yourself. - Jesus Christ

how vs why

2011-01-21T13:07:00.003-05:00

in a theme that may recur, i've had some thoughts come up during my rereading of "through painted deserts". i'm reading a few pages at a time, usually on lunch breaks, which is allowing it to sink in more. this might be a good idea for those of us that try to breeze through books just to get them read.

today, don's been evaluating the how and why questions and which are more important. in the beginning of the book, don determines that we spend so much time asking the how questions and not enough time thinking about the why questions.

americans, especially, concern themselves with how to find a job, how to land a great wife, and how to create a perfect life. meanwhile, don is suggesting that we should be thinking about why we want a job, why do we need companionship, and why we do anything in general.

this is an interesting though considering my current position is in career counseling. we, as counselors, and many students all get caught up in the how of finding a job and determining a career without considering why we want to do the work we do in the first place. for our internship, the other interns and i were asked to write a career autobiography which takes a look at our family backgrounds, our childhood, and our life's progression to make the career decisions we've made. in the end, we have the opportunity to remember why we've made certain decisions along the way and how we've come to the conclusion of our career choice.

writing this career autobiography gave me the opportunity to re-evaluate these things and remember what my priorities in life are. while careers are important, the answer to why i live my life is far greater. as a Christian, i am called to serve Jesus Christ and His ministry on earth. as a musician and writer, i create because i enjoy creating and sharing my creations with others. as a friend, my role is to love people and to love being in their presence.

i could go on and on about why i'm here, but the fact is that i haven't quite figured it all out yet. all i know is what i know now and why i do the things i do in the moment.

what are the answers to your why questions?

why are you here? why are you pursuing your career? why do you surround yourself with the people you are with?

why we care about sports

2011-01-15T13:24:00.002-05:00

today is a big day in the city of pittsburgh. no, there's no election. there's no monumental decision coming from mayor ravenstahl. there is no G20 conference happening or any foreign diplomats having brunch at deluca's or a brew at gooski's. no, today is far more important than that for pittsburghers.

today opens the nfl playoffs in pittsburgh for our beloved steelers. troy polamalu is listed as probable, which means he'll play. the hated ravens are in town, complete with ray lewis and all of his old spice magic. not only that, the steelers game is sandwiched between the cult favorite penguins visiting a recent rival, the boston bruins, and the yuppy favorite pitt panther basketball team visiting new jersey to play seton hall. days do not get much bigger for sports fans in pittsburgh!

as i sit in the benedum computer lab at pitt doing my homework (sort of), i check my facebook to see the statuses flooding with sentiments about the game. "my heart can't take it", "our father who art in pittsburgh", and suggestions that ravens fans are sons and daughters of drug dealers and hookers. part of me can't help but wonder, who cares?

i know it's blasphemous to say as a pittsburger, but in all reality, today's results have little to do with our lives as a whole. to a degree, we base our happiness on the success and failures of our favorite teams, but why? i've debated this plenty before.

so, why do we care about sports?

well, i'll tell you why. the world is a broken place. the economy is in the tank, negative propaganda is around every corner, and people are living in the streets. there's a lot to be upset about in this world. but when it comes down to it, sports rally us together. today at 4:30, none of it will matter. the bills sitting on our desks, the job search that seems to have stalled, the girl or boy who broke your heart, none of it matters. for 60 minutes of football, the only thing that matters is our boys beating their boys.

sports give us a release. for some, like my good blogging friend abby (www.abbynormally.com), running is that release. for my friend charles and plenty of pitt students, that escape comes with ultimate frisbee. for me, it's mostly basketball. for pittsburgh, it's the steelers (and, today, penguins and panthers). the steelers give us hope. we will undoubtably experience some ultimate highs and some ultimate lows today. hopefully we can do the same next week and in 3 weeks at the super bowl. but we get that escape today. today, we are all pittsburghers. that guy in the computer lab spitting into his empty red bull every 3 minutes, the girl tapping her pen in class, and the customers who you can't quite communicate with. today they're wearing a steelers jersey. today we are family.

so, sports are generally pointless in our lives. we get physical and emotional exercise, but at the end of the day they don't solve any problems. in american society today, though, sometimes we need pointless activity to keep going. pressures of accomplishment and success are all around, so for once let's put the pressure on someone else and enjoy seeing what they make of it. here we go steelers.

eat, sleep, repeat

2011-01-13T12:03:00.002-05:00

this morning i walked to work in the midst of the snow. it took me a while to drag myself out of bed and sloth my way through the morning routine, but i got to the bus stop just in time to catch the 77 halfway to work. my run down the hill to the bus stop woke me up a bit, but i still shuffled my feet on the walk down morewood to carnegie mellon.

accompanying me on this journey today was copeland. these guys were not mentioned in my "favorite artists" list, but i believe that was a pretty big oversight. copeland released four albums, each pretty unique, with their masterpiece (arguably) being eat, sleep, repeat. their 3rd studio album is a trip through emotions. the album moves up and down in pace and demeanor, making it unique and intriguing.

eat, sleep, repeat is a mundane title for an album that goes far deeper than the everyday occurrence. aaron marsh has a way of singing into your soul on this album and it will mesmerize you when you don't expect it.

one of my favorite afternoons of the last few years was a trip to the carnegie museum of art when i put this album on my ipod and just experienced art. visual art was in front of me and the audio art engulfing my eardrums created an experience that was utterly calming and inspirational. eat, sleep, repeat has a home in the art museum.

so this morning i listened to a few tracks from the album on my walk to work. i noticed myself losing focus and slowing my pace as i wanted to let the music take over my being. it was becoming a soundtrack for my thoughts with an alternating of depression and hope. often times our lives and jobs can feel like an "eat, sleep, repeat" kind of rotation, which is why it's so intriguing to take an album of that name that contains immense uniqueness. in the most ironic of ways, i noticed something new about life every time i listen to eat, sleep, repeat.

what albums give you unique experiences?

is there a particularly fond memory that you can associate with an artist or album?

what music helps to eliminate the "eat, sleep, repeat" feelings in your life?

the curious case of the ohio state buckeyes

2011-01-06T20:29:00.002-05:00

by now, the ohio state buckeye football situation is familiar to most of us. if not, the skinny is that 5 players (including stud quarterback, terrelle pryor) were suspended for 5 games of the 2011 season as a result of selling merchandise, such as game-worn jerseys and awards. the players apologized and were allowed to play in the sugar bowl this past week, which is of great debate. why not suspend them immediately? money, that's why. this whole thing is about money. my comments are particularly in regard to the money in the pockets of these players, or rather the lack thereof.

i've always been one to prosecute scholarship athletes. they are being paid with a free education, which costs an average of about $20,000/year for the rest of us average folk. not only that, many of these players tend to receive favor in terms of grading to make sure they remain eligible and graduate. why should we have sympathy for them?

then came a brief portion of the press conference with ohio state head coach jim tressel and athletic director gene smith. in the statement, smith made a very interesting point that these student-athletes may want some spending cash for going places, taking a girl on a date, or buying music, the same things we all want spending money for in college. the difference for these students is that they have a tiny amount of time available for a part-time job (think about your full-time class schedule plus a full-time job with occasional travel). on top of that, so many of these students are coming from low-income households where they simply cannot ask mommy for money to go to a movie on the weekends. this leaves players like terrelle pryor with no spending money and no time to make any.

so what do we do, pay these players? i've never been in favor of it, but it seems only natural that these individuals should be allowed a stipend. many phd programs allow their student-researchers a cost of living stipend while they go to school and work for the university, so why not throw a couple hundred dollars out of the scholarship into their pockets? let them take loans out for those few hundred dollars and pay it back later when they're in the nfl or working at the job they've been allowed thanks to their free education. i rarely have sympathy for these students who are receiving a free education, but with the thousands (or millions) of dollars they're bringing in for their university, they should be allowed a little of the cut to try to live a normal life in college like the rest of us.

opportunities

2011-01-03T12:16:00.001-05:00

my roommate, andy, recently commented to his girlfriend that he doesn't take particular note when i say that today is a "big day". it's not that today isn't a big day, but rather that i say it almost every day and the statement has become second-nature.

is today a big day? absolutely. was yesterday a big day? definitely. will tomorrow be a big day? almost certainly. i make this remark daily because every day is a big day. any day that is not a big day is also not really a day worth living. whether that big day is a road trip to a new place, a marriage proposal, or simply a day of rest, these are all important and memorable things. i don't want to wake up and not think that today is a big day.

not much has changed since january 2010. i have a different job (not waiting tables, thank goodness), a new residence closer to school and work, and i'm getting ready to finish school this semester. sure, some other subtle differences are there i'm sure, but overall i am who i was then.

one thing that certainly hasn't changed is my desire to seize opportunities. when asked about resolutions year after year i generally have the same response: i want to take advantage of every opportunity more than i did last year. i've always been one to have a mindset every day that i will do whatever will make me happy today. this has led to a lot of satisfaction over the years, which i intend to continue. but this year needs to be bigger than last.

i want to take a trip this year, for sure. when i (hopefully) lock-up a job i want to take my transitory time to make a trip, maybe follow the avett brothers if they're on tour, or get back out to see the pacific coast. i recorded 3 songs and i want to do it again this year. i want to try something for the first time that i've wanted to do, like skiing or snowboarding (anyone want to teach me?).

but let's not forget about the days in between. every day is a big day. in 2010 we lost a great friend in caleb altmire. his passing reminds me that no days are guaranteed. no sense in planning so much today that we forget to enjoy the day in front of us.

one real and very important resolution is that i need to incorporate the Word of God in my life far more in 2011. rather than say this in my words, allow me to quote Jesus from the Book of Matthew as parting words today:

So I tell you, don't worry about everyday life--whether you have enough food, drink, and clothes. Doesn't life consist of more than food and clothing? Look at the birds. They don't need plant or harvest or put food in barns because your heavenly Father feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than they are. Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? Of course not.

Matthew 6:25-27

Christmas

2010-12-25T17:07:00.001-05:00

today is the day we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ! Christmas holds so many meanings for so many people. today has become a major commercial holiday in america, filled with the spirit of giving and receiving gifts. today is a day to spend time with family and friends and to enjoy one another's company. today (more likely last evening) is a time to go to church and celebrate this birth, whether church is a standard practice in people's lives or not.

no sense in further complicating the day, though. it is about the birth of Christ. oftentimes, this day is filled with things to do, meals to cook, and people to see. for the nelko family, our whole-family celebration will happen on monday due to circumstances. due to some other circumstances, i'm sitting in my empty house in pittsburgh for an hour or so right now enjoying some peaceful time. this time is golden. being away from the hustle and bustle of the day gives me the opportunity to really think about what this day means.

this day means that Christ arrived on this earth only to die for our sins. i can sit here today and enjoy some time of peace because Jesus Christ granted me this peace with his sacrifice. my spirits are at ease and my troubles cease when i remember that this world means nothing besides spreading the love and Word of Jesus Christ.

so for those of you who do not celebrate Christmas in this way, i apologize, but i was put on this earth to love God and spread the Word of Jesus Christ. His birth we celebrate today and it is through His blood that we may celebrate life every day.

Merry Christmas!

growing up

2010-12-21T13:53:00.001-05:00

at some point we started to grow up. we're not really kids anymore. maybe we stopped being kids when we left for college or when we started driving. maybe it was that first kiss or even the first time we had to do homework instead of going outside to play. either way, we can't really be the kids we once were.

over the past week or so i have thought about this progression a few times. over the course of a handful of years, my life has gone from living in my parents house and paying for nothing besides gas to living on my own, paying rent, buying groceries, and job hunting. this transition happened so seamlessly that i didn't realize it really happened until this week! in this time, i started college where i stopped answering to my parents every day. eventually i moved off-campus, started paying for some of my rent and groceries, and thinking about what to do when college was over.

before i knew it, i am finishing graduate school and looking for a job. i'll start paying students loans and think about where i want to live that might not be pittsburgh. responsibility has come along without much warning, or maybe with plenty of warning.

either way, i don't want to grow up. fact is, i probably won't! while my friends are getting married and starting families, i'm still sitting back hoping that that perfect song comes along soon or that the avett brothers come within a 4 hour radius of our house. career goals? to get a job. something that i like. do i want to be a director? i don't know. probably? i'll get bored with one job and hope to get promoted to another, i'm sure.

the bottom line is that life can be about a lot of things. faith, friends, family, career, money, fame. for me, life is about enjoying every second. those seconds will be gone someday and you'll wish you enjoyed them all to the fullest. today, i encourage you to do whatever you want. do something that will put a smile on your face. or, better yet, do something that will put a smile on someone else's.

favorite albums of 2010

2010-12-17T10:06:00.000-05:00

2010 was a sweet year for music. so much good stuff came out this year and i'm excited to share my favorites with you. let's get right into it.

10. Jimmy Eat World - Invented - JEW brought it again, and with a sound rivaling Futures. The album rocks top-to-bottom with a lot of feeling. "Heart is Hard to Find" and "My Best Theory" hit you with catchiness we remember from Bleed American while the album has an epic finish with a pair of winners; "Invented" and "Mixtape".

9. Steel Train - Steel Train - If you enjoy power pop, this is the album for you in 2010. Steel Train has changed their sound a bit, but they'll hit you in the face with glam and stick in your head for days to come.

8. Sufjan Stevens - The Age of Adz - I don't know what to say about this album that hasn't already been said. It's confusing. It's mind-blowing. It's Sufjan Stevens doing something we've never heard. Where did the banjo go? Who knows, but this album is getting accolades for a reason.

7. The Tallest Man on Earth - The Wild Hunt - I can't lie, Kristian Matsson isn't really that tall. But this album is the best solo album of the year. His voice is unmistakable and the songwriting gets to your heart. The album ends and you just want more and more.

6. House of Heroes - Suburba - This may be biased on my part, but who cares, it's my favorites. House of Heroes wrote the second-best album about the suburbs this year with a pop-punk beauty. The album brings you back to high school, singing about girls, school, and fights behind the bleachers.

5. The New Pornographers - Together - This was my first exposure to The New Pornographers and I'm glad it didn't take any longer. These Canadian folk have been around a while and pack the stage with 8 musicians. The music is poppy, but layered. The beats and lyrics are fun, but don't mess with Neko Case. She'll curse you out.

4. Band of Horses - Infinite Arms - I think I liked this album a lot more than other people. But I can't get enough. It didn't leave my CD player for a while because BoH is some smooth, relaxed, country-infused indie rock. The tunes are soothing when they're down and will get your foot tapping when they're up.

3. Mumford and Sons - Sigh No More - It took me a while to come around to this one, but the talent of Mumford and Sons is undeniable. Fans of the Avett Brothers are falling for Mumford for a reason. The songwriting is incredible, the energy is top-notch, and the emotion is unparalleled.

2. Hellogoodbye - Would it Kill You? - Pop-rock mastery. This is the best pop-punk album I've heard since Ocean Avenue. It's not the synth-infused pop music you heard on Zombies! Aliens! Vampires! Dinosaurs!, but they're getting back to their roots. Every track is a hit and you can't pull it out of my CD player.

1. Arcade Fire - The Suburbs - When I heard Funeral for the first time this summer, I didn't think an indie album could top it. Arguably, The Suburbs has. This album catches you at the beginning and flows the entire way. The best album writing about the suburbs this year, their approach is much more adult-themed, not in an XXX way but rather in a way that we look back at where we came from and wonder how we got here. Bottom line, this is one of the best albums I've ever heard. "The Suburbs" is the first single and caught my attention every time it came on the XM at work. The album has a flow that moves from one song to the next without a hitch. "We Used to Wait" has an incredible video associated with it at www.thewildernessdown.com. Before you realize that the album is almost over, it hits you with, arguably, the best closer you'll ever hear; "Sprawl II (Mountaints Beyond Mountains). The only downside? The album gets pretty depressing, but they're hipsters singing about growing up, what do you expect?

the pain of being a baseball fan: pirates and phillies

2010-12-14T10:38:00.000-05:00

i've been blogging for a couple of years now, but i think it's time to break my sports silence.

i recently have had conversations with phillies fans about baseball fandom in general. i will say this: phillies fans are good, passionate, smart baseball fans. however, they look for far more sympathy from pirates fans than they deserve.

here are the hard facts: in the 1990s, the pirates and phillies sucked. after the pirates' 3 trips to the NLCS in 1990-1992 and the phillies' trip to the world series in 1993, pennsylvania produced 0 winning seasons of baseball. from 1994-2000, the pirates posted a 541-688 record (.440) and the phillies posted a 561-670 record (.456). the phillies win the number-of-worse-seasons battle, 4-3. pretty bad.

once the 2000s hit, though, things changed. from 2001 to 2010, the pirates posted a 607-848 record (.417) and the phillies a 796-661 record (.546). the phillies won 4 division titles, 2 national league pennants, and 1 world series. the pirates had a worse record all 10 years and finished under .500 every year with 2 100-loss seasons.

last night the phillies signed cliff lee, adding the best pitcher in baseball to a stacked rotation of roy halladay, roy oswalt, and cole hamels. this might be the best rotation ever assembled in baseball history. the phillies are instant front-runners for the world series. they acquired cliff lee for less money than he was offered by the yankees because lee has enough integrity to do so. the 4th-highest payroll in baseball just increased and will certainly move up.

here's my point: phillies fans have been claiming their awfulness from the 1990s. they were almost as equally bad as the pirates and had a worse record as many times as the pirates in the 90s, but it's time to stop the madness. phillies fans have to let go. yes, they were bad, but they're not anymore. they're good. they're very good. they will probably win a couple more world series, at least, before this staff disassembles. it's time to take ownership of the high-salary, high-quality baseball team on the field.

there is no comparison between pirates fans and phillies fans; we're cheering for different worlds. pirates fans live in a world of hopelessness and despair where our major free agent signings are other teams' middle-of-the-trash-heap fodder. players don't want to play for the pirates and i don't blame them. management is terrible. ownership is stingy. the aura of losing can be felt from april til july (when dem stillers start training camp and the pirates become an afterthought). it's a depressing state. the stadium is beautiful and the fans are loyal, but that can only be attractive for so long.

the phillies, though, they're good. the fans are loyal, the stadium is also beautiful, the money is there, and the players are winners. it's a great place for a baseball player to be. but it's time for fans to take ownership of this identity. they're not the lovable losers of the 90s anymore; they're lovable winners.

bottom line: pirates fans will no longer listen to a phillies fan talk about how hard it's been to be a philadelphia baseball fan. we just don't want to hear it. that era is over and a new one has started; one where the phillies compete with the red sox and yankees. it's not a bad thing, philly. it's a good thing. your team is competitive and has a legitimate chance to win the world series every year. i wish the pirates could spend that kind of money on free agents.

it's time to own it, though. the phillies may be called the next evil empire, but who cares? you're cheering for winning baseball. i am more envious than i'd care to describe.

social networking

2010-12-11T12:57:00.000-05:00

alright, i did it. i caved and started using twitter. i feel like a sort of sellout because i try so hard not to give in to technology! but the fact is that i am a writer, a blogger, a communicator. in this day and age it's impossible for me to gain exposure doing these things without using all of the available resources.

here are a few of my stances regarding technology and communication:

first, i appreciate the advancement, so let me say that first. communication is important for someone who is extraverted and disorganized like me. i like being able to call, text, email, and blog basically whenever i want. i thrive off of being in constant communication with people.

second, i like being able to turn it all off. as much as i appreciate being able to do these things whenever i want, i also enjoy being able to avoid them whenever i want, too. this is why i hope to never own a phone that can access the internet.

third, we wouldn't be where we are today without these advancements; good and bad. we know what's happening in people's lives so much, which can be fun, but can be overwhelming and intrusive, as well. did you know that miley cyrus took a bong hit? and there's a video? i hear it wasn't pot, though, so billie ray can sleep easy.

all this being said, i like to utilize technology. i thought that i'd consider myself a sellout if i used blogger, facebook, myspace, and twitter. but, the fact is that i do enjoy it, so i might as well just sell out. i like to write and make music, and the best way to share these things today is with blogging and myspace. the best way to market blogs and music is with facebook and twitter.

so here i am, blogging about it. i'll probably put up a facebook status and a tweet about this blog, too. then maybe i'll write a song about how i like writing songs.

live an etraordinary life

2010-12-03T12:54:00.000-05:00

today i really wanted a cheeseburger and fries for lunch. i packed a lunch, but i didn't want a cold peanut butter and jelly sandwich, so i bought a cheeseburger. that's not extraordinary. i had a long morning and wanted comfort food. that is very normal. no one wants to read that. i'm sorry i wrote it.

today, live an extraordinary life. do something worth talking about; something worth writing about. donald miller encourages people to live a better story in his latest book, "a million miles in a thousand years". for those who haven't read it, he travels the incan trail to machu picchu, bikes across the country, and encounters some incredible people. all of these things happen because he makes them happen.

so today do something worth talking about. it's a friday, it's a workday, but do something to make it interesting. i already have an idea of how to make my day memorable, so it's time to step up and do something extraordinary.

school break free time

2010-11-30T12:45:00.000-05:00

today started pretty poorly, mostly as a result of the cold and rain on my walk to work. when i got to work i saw an email from my supervisor telling me that the career center at cmu basically doesn't have much for the interns to do while students are gone, so we probably won't work over break. which is cool if you don't need money, but i kinda do. no use crying over spilled milk, though, since there isn't much wiggle room as far as coming up with a project to keep us busy. it occurred to me halfway through the morning, though, that i am being immeasurably blessed with a gift that will become more and more rare as my life progresses: free time.

so upon returning from the Beitzel-Rittase wedding on december 19th, i will have 18 days of freedom before returning to work, save for a couple major holidays and a few classes. i also won't have much of an income, so saving money will be key.

knowing all of this, i started making a list at lunch today of all the things i've wanted to do since life got so busy. what would i do if i had entire free days to literally do whatever i want? well, here are some ideas...

clean my room.
write and record a few songs.
write a short story.
revise my already written story.
play with my nieces and nephews.
read!
apply for jobs.
work ahead for next semester (yea right).
cook delicious things.
paint.
blog.
visit with friends.
enjoy inexpensive nights of games and/or talking.
help my dad or matt with home improvement projects.
clean my car.
practice piano.
go to a matinee.
explore the strip district and other grocery stores.
create a prayer station for the open door.
visit museums.

this is just the tip of the iceberg. so many great ideas, plenty of time to do a lot of them, for once. my life will rarely be this way, so i need to take advantage. and now i've told all of you, so hold me to it.

so what should i make sure to do?

what would you do with two free weeks?

a second try

2010-11-16T20:27:00.001-05:00

today i was getting depressed about growing up. it stinks, but we all do it i guess. finishing school, (hopefully) getting a job, sinking into the "real world". i even wrote a blog about it. but then i deleted the blog. it was depressing and more negative than i'd like. here's to a second chance.

instead of griping, i'll just talk about how blessed i am. i know i express my thankfulness a lot, but i don't think i can do it enough.

i have an incredible family and group of friends who have taught me how to show love in everything i do. i saw many of these friends this past weekend at rob and chelsea's wedding in philly, and for this i'm thankful. pictures and memories of times spent with these people will always bring a smile to my face.

i have an expression and an escape through music. i often overlook my ability to play music because so many of my friends are musically talented, but i am so thankful for my ability to play multiple instruments. playing an original song with two of my roommates last night was worth losing sleep for. my mood was instantly improved today by listening to hellogoodbye on my walk home, which reminded me of many of my friends, and then again when taking back sunday had a new track online. music gives me so much of the energy i need when i listen to the right song.

and i'm thankful for God. i don't always try to push my Christian agenda on people through my blog, but the fact is that i'm a Christian and i hope that that fact is obvious through my actions. but God has put these people and this music and these talents in my life for a reason. the reason for things isn't always obvious, but eventually it shows it's face and makes a lot of sense. all we can do is be thankful for every day we have and hope that the plan gets us where we want to go. little do we know that where we want to go is good, but where God wants us to go is better. i love getting to that better place and remembering that my "good" plans aren't worth worrying about.

favorite albums: 1

2010-10-13T21:21:00.000-04:00

well, here we are. number one. i won't beat around the bush, but i want to clear up a couple of things before you read about my favorite album of all time.

first, i didn't include any albums that i have not listened to before this year. that excluded any album released in 2010 plus a bunch of new favorites that i didn't hear before, like Funeral by Arcade Fire.

second, these are just my favorites. i don't think they're "the best" ever made. they're just the albums that i've liked the most over the years and still listen to.

third, there are plenty of albums i haven't listened to. i don't own any led zeppelin albums besides IV, which is great, so they didn't have many chances to make it despite being one of my favorite bands.

there are a few albums i've encountered over this look back that could have easily made the list and i want to acknowledge them. Futures by Jimmy Eat World, Squad Five-O by Squad Five-O, several albums by MxPx and Thrice, Ocean Avenue by Yellowcard, Silence by Blindside, Weezer (Blue Album) by Weezer, Dookie by Green Day, and Say It Like You Mean It by The Starting Line come to mind as albums that have been some of my favorites over the years but didn't quite make the cut.

without further ado, my number one.

1. Squad Five-O - Late News Breaking (2004) - My favorite album by my favorite band. Squad Five-O had a certain energy that only the Avett Brothers can rival. They were introduced to me, lightly, as a Christian band, but they were the first band that I realized could be just a band of Christians without the overt message. These guys danced along the lines of my faith in a way that I needed to see when I saw it. They played raw rock-and-roll, drank, smoked, cursed, and showed love to every fan they encountered. The twins, John and Jeff Fortson, had a certain attitude on stage that demanded attention. Jeff would swing the microphone and flip his hair around while his brother stood behind him playing bass with a cigarette in his mouth. Rumor has it they tossed a coin to determine who would be the lead singer.

Late News Breaking wasn't the first album I heard from them and it may not have even been the best (re: self titled), but it was the one that stuck with me for years. At a time when so many musicians were making anti-George Bush music, Jeff sings about life in America without stepping out and telling you his political stance. At concerts he'd announce that our political party didn't matter. They wrote songs about exploiting poor workers (Bye American), playing music for the money (Two Grand and a Lotta Hassle), and the war in Iraq (No Heroes).

Most of all, Late News Breaking was fun. I've had a smile on my face every time I've listened through this album. The lyrics are encouraging, the guitar riffs are fun, and the beats get you dancing. Jeff would demand dancing in the crowd at their shows. I saw this album played in the same set list 3 times in the course of a year because I loved it so much. This was one of the first albums I'd play straight through when I was learning drums. There's never a dull moment or a song that won't pick up your spirits.

In the most impactful song, "No Heroes", the lyrics sing about the war in Iraq. It's awful and we don't like it. Life is different for soldiers than it is for the rest of us. Whether you're for or against the war as a political move, we're all against war as something that happens in the world. Jeff sings about bombs going off, us not knowing and you not caring what goes on over there. It's a powerful song that brings to light the fact that the war is actually happening whether we really think about it or not.

As with the other albums at the top of this list, Late News Breaking is fantastic from top to bottom and can be recycled over and over. I always keep it in my car just in case. Jeff's voice gives me that rock-and-roll "I don't care" attitude. But it's not the negative, anti-authority type. It's the type that encourages you to enjoy every second. Why worry about making money, pleasing the man, or waiting for opportunity when every day is right in front of you. If there ever is a Squad Five-O reunion show, I'll be there. It'll make me feel good about everything.

Key tracks: No Heroes, Bye American, 2 Grand and a Lotta Hassle, Always Talkin' Never on the Run

favorite albums: 4-2

2010-10-11T15:09:00.000-04:00

thanks for your continued readership. it's been a lot of fun to talk about these albums. i hope you give a couple of them a shot. there were a couple winners who got the #4 album on the nose, so kayla clear and tim hardie will both get a CD of their choice from the list! not many will be surprised about today's entries, but i think there will be surprises regarding overall ommissions. here are numbers 4, 3, and 2. be on the lookout for #1 at the end of the week!

4. Brand New - Deja Entendu (2003) - In Brand New's similar fashion to the transition into The Devil and God..., these Long Island emo kings took time to re-evaluate their music before releasing their 2003 masterpiece, Deja Entendu. I'm hard-pressed to encounter a friend into this style of music who does not attribute their love to this album. Jesse Lacey's voice is full of emotion and proves his belief in his lyrics. Deja is the epitome of the transition from teen angst into something deeper. His voice builds and drops, creating an epic ebb and flow, highlighted by the explosive borderline-screaming that comes out in some of the more powerful tracks (see: The Quiet Things that No One Ever Knows).

Brand New made a name for themselves in the pop-punk genre with Your Favourite Weapon a couple of years before this release, but Deja put them on the map. If anyone has heard of Brand New, it has a lot to do with this release. I can remember walking through the halls of Pitt's buildings during my freshman year of college in 2003 listening to this album over and over and over. Every song hits a different heart string, from the low-key "The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot", into the more upbeat "Quiet Things...", and climaxing several times with certain vigor in songs like "Jaws Theme Swimming". Deja, top to bottom, is an album that can be recycled again and again without growing tiresome.

Brand New have a way with expressing emotions through words, guitars, and drums. This album is a perfect example of a windstorm of emotions settled into one beautiful mess. I believe the anticipation of a new album is a result of what the band has given you in the past. Brand New's releases since Deja have been the most anticipated of my life because Deja set the stage.

Key Tracks: The Quiet Things that No One Ever Knows, Jaws Theme Swimming, Sic Transit Gloria... Glory Fades

3. The Avett Brothers - Emotionalism (2007) - There are albums in your life that come along and change your perspective on music, performance, and life in general. A lot of times you know when it's happening, but in the case of Emotionalism I had no idea when it was happening. My friend Andy asked for me to burn him a copy of this album when we had it at WPTS a few weeks before its official release. He got his copy, but I didn't pay much attention despite how excited he was about its release. I burned myself a copy, but didn't listen for a few weeks. I remember the first time I listened straight through the album. I was walking to visit my sister and new nephew, Joshua, in Magee Women's Hospital in Oakland. At the time, I focused a lot of my attention on drums and electric instruments, so it took a while for this Americana sensation to sink in.

Once I let these boys from Concord, NC, sink in, it was all over. I watched videos when friends would send them to me and listen to tracks that people suggested, but it wasn't until a fateful trip to Kent, OH, that I was hooked. Seeing songs from this album played in front of me blew my mind more than I thought acoustic instruments ever could. The upbeat songs stood out at first (Will You Return?, Paranoia in Bb Major, Pretty Girl from Chile), but once I walked around with the music in my ears for a few weeks the others started to emerge. "The Ballad of Love and Hate", "The Weight of Lies", and "I Would Be Sad" have some of the most impactful lyrics you'll encounter.

The live show is what ropes people into the intrigue of the Avett Brothers, but the lyrics are what give the Avetts the layers to their music that keep people around for good. They sing about pretty girls they've encountered, running towards or away from something , and being honest and proud of who you are. The lyrics are encouraging, like in "I Would Be Sad" when the narrator is speaking with his father about a girl who has rejected him, or when the narrator sings about asking for a helping hand in "Shame". Scott and Seth sing about what we know, which is just a bunch of stuff that we need reminders for.

Key tracks: Paranoia in Bb Major, The Ballad of Love and Hate, Shame

2. Jimmy Eat World - Bleed American/Self-Titled (2001) - Great albums are acknowledged as great when we still listen to them, talk about them, and want to hear them live years after the album's release. I hate to say that I wasn't aware of Jimmy Eat World before this album, but upon hearing the title track on the radio and speaking with friends from Blade Runners about these Phoenix boys, I needed to know more. "The Middle" was released, I saw JEW at Metropol, and the rest is history. Clarity is the classic JEW release, but, like Deja Entendu for Brand New, Bleed American put JEW on the map. "The Middle" was the biggest hit in rock music in 2002 and their awkward and confusing band name became a household utterance.

Like any other album I'll put at the top of a "favorites" list, Bleed American is one that is fantastic top-to-bottom, features a good bit of diversity throughout, and can be enjoyed over and over without growing old. At a concert of theirs in Pittsburgh in 2007, 10 of the 11 songs from this album were played. Even the hardcore pretentious fans of Clarity, the release prior to BA, can acknowledge the greatness of their 2001 release. Jimmy grabs you with some catchy, upbeat, guitar-drive tracks (BA, A Praise Chorus, The Middle) before slipping into three of their most critically acclaimed tracks (Your House, Sweetness, Hear You Me). The album finishes with a few creative tracks that escape the standard pop song structure, including an incredible closer, typical of JEW (My Sundown).

Jimmy Eat World's ability to write songs that are catchy, creative, and memorable combined with their energy and deliberate instrumentation, have come to put together incredible albums. Their live show is intense and elicit emotions from first riff to final fade. The combination of songs on Bleed American is about as close to perfect as I've seen.

Key tracks: A Praise Chorus, Bleed American, Hear You Me

favorite albums: 7-5

2010-10-06T21:50:00.001-04:00

the albums on this portion of the list are all curious. they all feature bands with eccentric lead singers who sing songs of conflict and resolution. if you were to listen to them in a row (7, 6, 5), you would hear stories of despair and hurt, finished up with comfort and hope. maybe we should try it sometime.

7. Modest Mouse - We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank (2007) - Originally this album was intended to be a concept album about a boat crew that dies in every song. That didn't pan out, but this album by Modest Mouse, which usually plays second or third fiddle to the two prior releases, is my favorite from these Seattle boys. Unlike the ebb and flow of "Good News...", We Were Dead pumps out hit after hit of intense, yet catchy, tunes.

Is there anything that stands out about this album compared to others? Maybe nothing obvious. The simple fact is that this album is consistently enjoyable and somehow finds its way into my car CD player more than almost any other album. The guitar work is deliberate and complex. The drum beats are intricate and, at times, involve two sets (see the video below). Brock grabbed the public's attention with Good News, then came back with an in-your-face follow-up without any apologies attached.

Key tracks: Dashboard, Spitting Venom, Fire It Up

6. Brand New - The Devil and God are Raging Inside Me (2006) - There simply has not been a more anticipated release in my life. Brand New had disappeared after touring for a while post-Deja Entendu release. Their web site was barren. There were no signs of life or things to come. Then in January of 2006, nine demos hit the internet without warning or desire from the band. The demos were odd, rough, and confusing. The music was darker. The lyrics were increasingly complex. Brand New's direction was accidentally released to the world.

November of the same year found the release of this masterpiece. The songs are intense. Listening to the album almost makes you scared. A couple songs have long intros (Limousine, Degausser) and there aren't as many singles as before. Although, I do remember listening to the first track, Sowing Season, over and over in Andy Armstrong's SUV that autumn. It's all I wanted to hear. Brand New had roped me in with an album that allowed for a lot of interpretation, mainly because Jesse Lacey isn't one to tell people what he's thinking in a straightforward manner.

Key tracks: Sowing Season (Yeah), Jesus, You Won't Know

5. mewithoutYou - Brother, Sister (2006) - Aaron Weiss is the most intriguing man in music. The lead singer of mewithoutYou puts together the most eccentric, confusing, and entertaining performance in music. He flails around stage, singing/speaking with plenty of emotion and a limited amount of focus. The band behind him, though, is what makes the music complete. The music is intricate and diverse. On Brother, Sister, mewithoutYou puts together an album filled with incredible drums, entertaining guitar and bass riffs, and plenty of extra bells, horns, and accordion. The lyrics are mystifying. They explore the connection between God, man, and the world. Weiss seems to have a better grasp on the world around him than any of us.

The band is captivated by their music on stage, but it's hard not to be captivated along with them. The album builds and drops throughout. The first track, "Messes of Men", is a prime opener that starts with some recited words by Weiss and blasts into an intense verse that keeps you swaying and sets up the rest of the album. The three "...Spider" songs tell the story of a spider that is born, grows, and dies, much like our own existence. Each song hits on different characteristics of our existence in this world, finishing with the track that has been a finisher for many of their shows since, "In a Sweater Poorly Knit". Give it a shot, it may be the most interesting thing you listen to all year.

Key tracks: Messes of Men, C-Minor, O Porcupine

a letter to my friends and family

2010-10-05T21:15:00.002-04:00

dear friends,

today was a day i'd never wish for anyone to experience. we said goodbye to a good friend far earlier than we expected. caleb was a friend to many and the life of the party. his smile, his humor, his athleticism, and his heart will be missed. it did not feel real until we were gathered in the church this morning and he was not sitting there with us.

i regret to say i hadn't kept in touch with caleb much since college ended. but instead of regretting the things i cannot change, i'll be encouraged and encourage you all to maintain connections and say hello to those friends who may have moved to the back of your phonebook. these days we have are precious and the opportunities we have may pass by long before we expect them to.

my blogging started as a result of seeing a young man lose his life. that co-worker gave me the motivation i needed to get my life moving and to take advantage of every minute i have. i've written about these ideas over and over, but i can't stress enough how precious life can be.

but instead of talk about how we all should quit our jobs and move to portland, i want to say thank you. thank you to all of my friends. thank you to the friends i've seen this week and thank you to the friends i haven't seen in years. you all have shaped me into the person i've become. all the good times, all the bad times, all the times that never happened; these things have created who i am. i believe in God putting us all where we need to be when we need to be there, and i believe my interactions with you have been put in place by a greater power.

so thanks for being who you are. thanks to the people i've played music with. thanks to the people i've made videos with. thanks to the people i've shared coffee or beer with. thanks to the guys who kicked me when i was down. thanks to the guys who lended a hand instead. thanks to the people who tried to pressure me into things i didn't want to do. thanks to the people who eventually made those mistakes with me. thanks to the girls who dated me. thanks to the girls who refused to. thanks to the teachers, pastors, and supervisors who led me. thanks to the students who followed me. thanks to the people who have made me laugh. thanks to the people who have made me cry. thanks to the people who have made beautiful music for me to listen to. thanks to the people who have listened to my music. thanks to anyone who let me copy their homework in high school.

thanks for the rides, the parties, the study sessions, the poker games, the pick-up games, the dates, the maybe-dates, the concerts, the late nights, the early mornings, the mid-afternoons, the boy meets worlds, the monday night footballs, the high-fives, the kicks in the groin, the road trips, the long walks, the law and order marathons, the important talks, the irrational behavior, the guitar lessons, the arguments, for talking me out of a lot of bad ideas, and for letting me have a drum kit in the house.

anyone who knows me well knows that i value my friendships. i just want to make sure that you all know how much you mean to me. and i'm not talking about my "readers", but i'm talking about my family and friends. thanks for making me who i am and loving me for the man i've become.

love,

jake

favorite albums: 10-8

2010-09-29T21:14:00.001-04:00

thanks for all of the guesses on my top ten! i appreciate your readership and am excited about the chance i have to give back to my supporters. let's get right into the top ten.

10. Death Cab for Cutie - Transatlanticism (2003) - If Narrow Stairs got me listening and Plans got me hooked, then Transatlanticism proves the legend of Death Cab for Cutie. This was not my favorite album of theirs at first. It definitely takes some listens to really get into it. Listen to the lyrics, though, and you'll see where Ben Gibbard's status was really solidified. The title track is the most legendary, but some of my favorites are the tracks with the catchiest hooks, like "Title and Registration", "Expo '86", and "Death of an Interior Decorator".

The uniqueness of Death Cab is the musicianship that builds and drives like a flawless novel combined with Gibbard's lyrics which contain not one wasted word. When listening to any song on Transatlanticism, you can hear the story on Gibbard's lips, see the drama unfold behind your eyelids, and feel the pain of lost love in your heart as if it were the love you have lost yourself.

Key tracks: Transatlanticism, Title and Registration, Expo '86

9. Bright Eyes - I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning (2005) - Talk about songwriting! Conor Oberst wrote a collection of ten fabulous tracks for this acoustic-driven gem. I don't generally care for social agendas, especially Oberst's, but anti-political statements ("we must memorize nine numbers and deny we have a soul") speak into a disconnect from our self that we need to reconnect. Oberst does his best to find the reconnection through the next 9 tracks about life as we see it. His voice shakes as the emotion spews out. You can feel the genuine sentiment flowing from the guitars.

Legendary lines spew from the speakers. "Why are you scared to dream of God when it's salvation that you want?" "I've found a liquid cure for my land-locked blues." "I could go anywhere with you and I'd probably be happy." The list goes on.

Oh, and Emmylou Harris provides some of the most incredible cameos I've ever heard.

Key tracks: First Day of My Life, Poison Oak, At the Bottom of Everything

8. Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago (2008) - The most beautiful album on this list was saved for number 8. Justin Vernon wrote this album while living in his father's Wisconsin cabin battling mono and break-ups with his band and girl. I've never heard heartbreak more clearly than on this album. Vernon's acoustic guitar is often tuned awkwardly, allowing for chords that are unique and difficult to replicate. The man himself is tall in stature, but possesses a distinctly deep voice with an enjoyable falsetto compliment.

Vernon wrote the perfect winter album. You can picture a weekend in the cabin with your closest friends, opening up with one another about the heartache you've experienced. For those too proud to have such an experience, just light a candle and play this album at a medium volume. Don't worry, I won't tell.

Key tracks: Skinny Love, Re: Stacks, Flume

contest! and favorite albums: 15-11

2010-09-26T13:08:00.000-04:00

i hope you all are enjoying my walk through some of my favorite music. it's been a lot of fun to sit back and listen to these albums straight through over the past few weeks and months. the albums in this portion of the list all have one track that stands out far above the others, with a strong supporting cast to create great overall albums. they feature some of my favorite songwriters, as well.

CONTEST: here's the big announcement! today i'm announcing a contest where you can win a hard copy of an album of your choice from my top 20. here's how to do it:

on sunday, october 3rd, i will begin to announce my top 10. before that day, you can leave a comment on this post or email me at jake.nelko@gmail.com with your guess of my top 10. if you can nail ANY album in the CORRECT spot in my top 10, you win an album! up to 3 can win. if no one can pin an album in the exact position, then whoever can guess the MOST number of albums in my top 10 correctly, in any order, will win an album.

sound good? hit me up! keep reading! win music! here are numbers 15-11.

15. The Hold Steady - Stay Positive (2008) - In the summer of 2008 I started to buy new albums without listening to them much in an effort to fill the void of new-music-influx that WPTS had filled during my college days. This was the first album I bought, thanks to a recommendation from Rolling Stone, and it was a rousing success. The Hold Steady are lead by the storytelling of Craig Finn and backed by some old fashioned rock and roll. Finn's lyrics tell stories of kids just trying to find their way, and Stay Positive is no different. There's a certain epic feeling to this album as it hits you in the face early, builds the story in the middle, climaxes, and closes with some laid-back resolution. The Hold Steady are everything good about rock and roll.

Key Track: Sequestered in Memphis

14. Fall Out Boy - From Under the Cork Tree (2005) - I'll probably receive a good bit of flack for this choice, but I just have to do it. Fall Out Boy is one of my favorite bands because they have clever lyrics (featured in about 20 different away messages in my AIM days) and songs that will get stuck in your head for days (plus, did i mention, an Oregon Trail knock-off game? re: falloutboytrail.com). From Under the Cork Tree hits with song after song about teen drama, fame, and girls who like both. You hate them, but you love them. I just love them.

Key Track: Of all the Gin Joints in All the World

13. Modest Mouse - Good News for People Who Love Bad News (2004) - I did not listen to this album until the summer of 2008, but learned pretty quickly why it is an indie classic. Isaac Brock's voice is unique, the lyrics are creative, and the musicianship on this selection creates an up and down flow of an album like you've never experienced. "Float On" is my favorite track and will be the one that everyone knows, but the album pumps out plenty of memorable tracks ("Ocean Breathes Salty", "The World at Large", "Bury Me With It"). My favorite memory is listening to this album constantly when visiting the home state of Modest Mouse in Seattle, WA.

Key Track: Float On

12. Death Cab for Cutie - Plans (2005) - The first of two entries from Death Cab is their most popular (certified Platinum). Plans is a great collection of well-written songs that will remain on indie radio stations for years. Ben Gibbard solidified his status as a new legend in songwriting with tracks like "Marching Bands of Manhattan" and "Soul Meets Body". Narrow Stairs got me into Death Cab, but Plans kept me coming back for more.

Key Track: I Will Follow You into the Dark

11. The Format - Interventions and Lullabies (2003) - Another late arrival to my music collection is the debut from The Format. This power-pop group from Arizona only put out a couple of albums before going their separate ways, but they influenced a lot of people my age who are now creating music. Nate Reuss' lyrics were honest and enjoyable, combined with some of the most upbeat musicianship you'll encounter. Any twentysomething with an acoustic guitar in their hand needs this album in their arsenal.

Key Track: The First Single (Cause a Scene)

favorite albums: 20-16

2010-09-19T13:12:00.001-04:00

i've thought about this blog for a long time. it's been on my mind for months, maybe years. i love lists and i love music. this is the ultimate way for me to bring those two loves together.

those of you who have talked music with me know that i also love albums. the creation of an album by a band or musician is a complete piece of art. it's not just your favorite few songs that create a memorable album. it's the entire collection of music. the artwork. the lyrics. the packaging. all of these things combine to create one collection of art.

the songs an artist creates for an album are a collection of thoughts, ideas, and emotions that the artist is experiencing at that time. immense joy or immense sadness can create two completely different albums from the same artist. all songs should be considered in the evaluation of an album.

that being said, i value an album's completeness. my favorite albums are the ones that have listenability the whole way through. the very best albums are the ones that have the ability to flow to the end and finish in a way that energizes you to listen to it again right away.

more comments will come in future posts, but i'll start with selections 20-16 now. one final rule: i have to have listened to this album before my 25th birthday in january 2010. great albums need time to sink in. enjoy. comment. argue. these are my favorites.

20. The Classic Crime - The Silver Cord (2008) - This is a fine example of a complete album. Top to bottom, The Classic Crime's masterpiece is constantly listenable. There aren't many songs that stand out as catchy singles, which is why it isn't higher on the list, but in the summer of 2008 this album took weeks to exit my car's CD player.

Key track: The Beginning (A Simple Seed)

19. fun. - Aim and Ignite (2009) - This is a pretty recent inclusion. Nate Reuss, singer of one of my favorite bands, The Format, created this band with a couple guys from Steel Train and Anathallo. fun. created a super-catchy, yet emotional, power-pop selection that will get stuck in your head.

Key track: At Least I'm Not as Sad (As I Used to Be)

18. Anberlin - Cities (2007) - Anberlin found national recognition in the past year or so with the re-release of the track "The Feel Good Drag", but Cities is the masterpiece that took Anberlin to the level they've achieved today. The songwriting by Stephen Christian is deep and complex, while Anberlin's musicianship creates an album full of intently diverse rock music.

Key track: Godspeed

17. The Avett Brothers - Four Thieves Gone (2006) - The first of 3 selections from my favorite band, Four Thieves Gone is an interesting collection of tracks. A few of my favorite songs by TAB can be found in these Robbinsville Sessions, ranging from the low-key Famous Flower of Manhattan to the high energy Colorshow. The songwriting on several tracks is incredible (re: The Lowering). I could write hundreds of pages about the these boys, so I'll stop for now.

Key Track: Talk on Indolence

16. The Avett Brothers - Mignonette (2004) - Okay, back to it. Mignonette is smack in the middle of the Avett Brothers transition from down-home-country bluegrass to pop-folk legends. The crossover features plenty of energy and untouchable songwriting. My favorite Avett Brothers track of all-time is found here; Pretty Girl from Cedar Lane.

Key Track: At the Beach

favorite bands

2010-09-09T18:30:00.000-04:00

i'm going to make this quick because this is a pretty straight-forward list. these are my favorite bands of all time. they are in order. out of the top 10, i've seen 8 live, totaling 26 shows.

i've taken into account a few important factors, such as listenability (how often i listen to their music), live performance, and overall who they are as musicians. i value exemplary songwriting, engaging live performances, energy, growth as musicians, and obvious love for playing music.

without much hoopla, here is the start of the list:

honorable mention:
bear cub and the composure - two local favorites
anberlin
led zeppelin
fall out boy

10. The Hold Steady - Old, dirty rock and roll. No-nonsense storytelling and instrumentation.

9. mewithoutYou - One of the most odd bands I've seen around for this long. Their musicianship and personalities help them rise above so many others.

8. Brand New - Their newest album has dropped them off my radar some, but you can't deny their intensity and emotion.

7. MxPx - One of the most influential bands of my life. 3 dudes, mostly 3 power chords, and some simple punk rock.

6. Modest Mouse - Unbelievably creative songwriting. Modest Mouse can be mistaken for no other, if for no other reason beside Isaac Brock's voice.

5. Thrice - I didn't expect Thrice to be this high on my list, especially considering the first time I saw them was thanks to a bill alongside mewithoutYou and Brand New. Dustin Kensrue is one of my favorite songwriters. He uses Biblical references often, as well as C.S. Lewis references. His lyrics are deep and meaningful to a wide range of listeners. Thrice hits with an absolute intensity in their live shows. Teppei Teranishi is one of the most creative guitarists/musicians around. The songs have complexities that Thrice portray as simple. The band doesn't talk much during their live shows, but the songs speak for themselves.

4. Jimmy Eat World - Some have dropped off the Jimmy bandwagon with the last album, but I certainly have not. They are humble fellows from Arizona with gentle and introspective lyrics. JEW are fantastic at performing their music. They don't tour as frequently as many other bands, which makes their ticket a must-buy when the chance arises. Each album brings about different memories for me, but Bleed American will surface on my top ten list for sure. It's as close to a perfect album as bands can hope to attain. The songs are catchy and independent. JEW hits a wide range of music-listeners, but the musicians among us can especially appreciate the work they do.

3. Death Cab for Cutie - I resisted Death Cab, for sure, until one night at Primanti's when Ron Cepek basically called me an idiot for being a musician who didn't appreciate Death Cab. I gave them a listen (Narrow Stairs) and was instantly hooked. Ben Gibbard is one of my favorite songwriters because he has a way of manipulating words in a way that is useful to him. He uses vocabulary in a way that helps one lyric play off of another. The musicianship is simple, yet intriguing. They know that it doesn't take much to catch people's attention. I have not seen Death Cab live, but they're at the top of my must-see list.

2. Squad Five-O - Quite simply, the most important band I've ever listened to. Squad has incredible energy, rock and roll swagger, and no-bullshit attitudes. They've been described as a mix of The Clash and The Rolling Stones, which is accurate. Their lyrics are simple and truthful. On their last album, Squad ventured into dangerous territory by speaking about current events, but somehow did it in a way that was impactful yet not offensive to either side. Jeff Fortson is hands-down the best frontman I've seen. He has relentless emotion on stage and a certain sass that makes you love and hate him at the same time. Talk to him in person, though, and you'll know that he's just one of the guys doing what he's got to do to have a good time.

1. The Avett Brothers - I never thought a band could supplant Squad Five-O in this spot, but the Avetts have. I saw them for the first time in Kent, OH, in March 2008 and have seen them an additional 7 times since then. Their live show is unbeatable.. but you wouldn't think so, thanks to the acoustic-banjo-standup bass-cello combo.

These North Carolina boys have the humble "aww shucks" personality that makes you know they appreciate every single person in the crowd every night. They come out to meet fans after every show. They want to shake the hands of the people who have made it possible for them to do what they do.

The energy is second-to-none. These guys simply leave it all on the stage every night. Arguably the best part, though, is the incredible range of songs they will perform on a nightly basis. In seeing them 8 times, I'm sure I've seen about 70 different songs played. They'll reach all the way back to the first album, even after putting out an album that hit the Billboard charts in 2009. We all wondered if "making it big" would change the Avett Brothers, but it certainly hasn't.

shows

2010-08-25T15:21:00.001-04:00

i've been to plenty of shows over the years. more than i can count, actually. i try to keep tickets from all of them, but it's no use anymore. seeing music played live is simply a joy. we've heard the studio-recorded albums, but hearing the band reproduce their music live and in person is a different experience.

my favorite live bands have plenty of energy (squad five-o, the avett brothers) or play their music undeniably well (thrice, jimmy eat world). listening to their music at home reminds me of the performances i've witnessed and gives an extra layer to the fandom of these bands.

but i don't need to tell you that. you've been to concerts. you know what i'm talking about. so i'll cut to the chase. here are a few of the most memorable moments from the most memorable shows i've been to.

Yellowcard - Club Laga, December 2003

Yellowcard is simply one of the best live bands I've seen. My first encounter was at the Warped Tour of this same year, but after that tour I started listening to Ocean Avenue and was jazzed to see them live again. This was the last show I'd see at my favorite venue of all time. The most memorable moment came when violin player Sean Mackin performed his signature backflip off an amp during "October Nights". It's an electrifying move, especially when the old fans know it's coming.

Squad Five-O - Someone's garage in Tarentum, PA, December 2004

Squad Five-O might be the best live band I've seen. During a stretch of seeing these boys 4 times in a year, a show was relocated from the South Side to a random garage in Tarentum, PA. My attendance almost did not happen because I was offered Steelers tickets, but Kristin, Dana, and myself ended up going to the most surreal concert experience I've been to. Bottom line: Jeff Fortson swinging from the garage door track and punching out a light bulb.

Brand New, Thrice, and mewithoutYou - AJ Palumbo Center, December 2007

This was the greatest non-Squad, non-Avett concert I've been to. The lineup was simply disgusting. Brand New is one of my favorite bands and this was the first time I saw them. I hadn't listened to Thrice much, but they quickly became a new favorite after this show (I've seen them twice since). mewithoutYou puts out a fantastic live performance every time, thanks in part to the eccentric personality of lead man Aaron Weiss. No one moment stood out in particular, but I recall being more excited for this concert than any in my life. Thrice's performance of "The Earth Will Shake" is burned into my memory and Brand New brought a pair of drumsets (and probably a pile of drugs).

MxPx - Post-Gazette Pavilion, Warped Tour 2004

I've seen plenty of memorable performance by MxPx. My first experience in high school at Metropol was fantastic and they brought an impressive redemptive performance in 2007 on a loaded Tooth and Nail tour (Sullivan, Run Kid Run, The Classic Crime, The Fold). The most memorable moment, though, came on the Vans Warped Tour in 2004. Mike, Tom, and Yuri were in rare form, pulling together an intense 30-minute set. The set was so intense that it became very hard to breathe in the pit. Maybe it was the heat, maybe it was the band, or maybe it was the fact that this was our first pit of the day, but MxPx almost rocked us too hard to breathe that day.

The Avett Brothers - Kent Stage, Kent, OH, March 2008

I've saved the best for last. The Avett Brothers were not my favorite band when I first started listening to them, but thanks to encouragement from a couple close friends and a crush on a concert-going friend, I found myself in the middle of Ohio seeing a bluegrass/folk band that was about to blow my mind. The Avett Brothers bring it every single night. They're full of unprecedented energy, authenticity, and love. This show led to 8 concerts in 3 states over the next 2+ years.

The most memorable moment: an unprecedented second encore. The Bros played the best set I've seen from them with plenty of classics, followed by a nasty encore featuring the newly-released Murder in the City and Pretty Girl from Chile. After that, the show was over, until 1/3 of the crowd didn't leave. 100-150 people were left, singing the "la-las" from Go to Sleep, hoping the boys would come back out. The Avetts came back out with wifebeaters on, clearly having retired for the night until the crowd remained. They threw down a verse from the rarely-played Tales of Coming News before hitting an emotional high with Salvation Song. An unbelievable end to an unforgettable beginning of a musical love affair.

Honorable mention: Jimmy Eat World's flawlessness at Carnegie Library and Music Hall, finally seeing Blindside open for POD after 2 tries at Purple Door, Reese Roper wearing a Barney costume on the Purple Door stage for Five Iron Frenzy, seeing a dude dropped on his head during The Ataris at Warped Tour, Green Day (one of the best live bands in the world) with my sister and brother-in law.

favorites of music series

2010-08-17T13:23:00.000-04:00

i love music. it gives us a soundtrack to our lives. it often expresses emotions and thoughts which we cannot verbalize ourselves.

i also love lists. i enjoy ranking things and determining which things are best, or at least better than others.

thirdly, i clearly love reflection. i enjoy taking a look back at what once was and what has shaped the world and my existence today.

those statements being made, i will begin a new blog series today ranking my favorite albums, artists, and songs. i'll be going through my music library to find favorites from different genres and time periods in my life that have lasted in my memory today. my goal is to share this music with you, but also to allow me to reflect on what's happened in my life, musically, to bring me to this point. also, august is boring and school is starting soon, so it's something fun to do!

please read and respond. my favorites won't be your favorites. there are plenty of albums i haven't listened to or have forgotten about, so tell me. these are my preferences.

i'll start the series with a list of the 5 most important albums in the shaping of my musical tastes, in no particular order.

Squad Five-O - Squad Five-O

If I had to pick the most influential, it'd be this one. I'm sure most of you haven't even heard of Squad Five-O, but this Philly/Georgia quintet fused the style and energy of The Rolling Stones and The Clash into one hip, energetic, classic composition. Jeff Fortson was the frontman and will only be rivaled in my heart by Scott Avett. His energy and confidence on stage was electrifying. Their lyrics were plain and true. Squad was believable and enjoyable, flat out.

This album is important to me because it showed me what true rock and roll is all about. Brandon Gulish had me listen to this album on the way to play football in 12th grade and my life has never been the same.

Key tracks: I Don't Wanna Change the World, I Just Want to Change Your Mind; Wasted (With You); Don't Come Runnin'

The Avett Brothers - Emotionalism

It took me a long time to warm up to these guys, but once I ignored the fact that the Avetts' genre (bluegrass/folk/country) isn't my favorite, I saw the core. The core of energy, truth, and incredible songwriting. Emotionalism isn't my favorite album of theirs (see: Mignonette), but it was the introduction for me. I listened to this album for the first time on a stroll to see my newborn nephew, Joshua, at Magee Women's Hospital in February 2008 (thanks to a suggestion from Andrew Armstrong). The quiet walk in south Oakland allowed for an uninhibited listen to the truth behind the lyrics of these boys from North Carolina. Eight concerts later, The Avett Brothers are far and away my favorite band, starting with that stroll with Emotionalism.

Key tracks: Paranoia in Bb Major; Shame; The Ballad of Love and Hate

MxPx - At the Show

There isn't too much room for live albums on lists like these, but this album is second in importance only to SFO. This one was also passed along to me by Brandon Gulish; this time in 10th grade. It was an introduction to music that wasn't on the radio. MxPx's energy is undeniable, as is apparent on a live recording. This was a collection of their best stuff, recorded shortly after their best studio album was released (Slowly Going the Way of the Buffalo). This album was my go-to on long road trips and got me through a lot of tough times. MxPx was the reminder that simple, fast tunes about life in general were all you needed sometimes.

Key tracks: Chick Magnet; I'm Ok, You're Ok; Under Lock and Key

Brand New - Deja Entendu

Deja Entendu was the definition of my early college years. I missed the boat on the whole pop-punk/emo infusion from Brand New and Taking Back Sunday in high school, so when I happened across Deja Entendu in college it became my anthem. It's dark and depressing, perfect for those days when it just seems like the world is against you. I have plenty of fond memories from walking around campus with this album in my ears, shutting out the world along the way. This is Brand New's masterpiece.

Key tracks: The Quiet Things that No One Ever Knows; Jaws Theme Swimming; Sic Transit Gloria...Glory Fades

Bright Eyes - I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning

I resisted Bright Eyes for a long time. Super-emo, super-depressing at times, yet a lyrical genius. Conor Oberst has become an indie music legend through finding "a liquid cure for my land-locked blues", suggesting that "we must memorize nine numbers and deny we have a soul", and encouraging us that "i'd rather be working for a paycheck than waiting to win the lottery". His lyrics are infectious and we can all relate to them in one way or another. This album is on the list because the songwriting is impeccable. After you listen to any track on I'm Wide Awake, you feel like picking up a guitar and singing the truth.

Key tracks: First Day of My Life; At the Bottom of Everything; Land Locked Blues

artistic pursuits

2010-07-30T12:02:00.000-04:00

i have exactly one month left before school starts! yikes. once school starts, my immense amounts of free time will diminish. so, i need to take advantage of the time i have this month. here's where you come in! i have a handful of things i've worked on or would like to work on, so do me a favor and help me make a decision.

which of the following activities should i focus my energy on during august?

work on the rough draft of my short story

write and record another song or two

write a new short story

paint another picture

start a potentially longer non-fiction Christian living piece

re-channel my energy into blogging weekly

those are the options. leave me a response and tell me what you think! feel free to suggest something else, too. i look forward to seeing where my efforts will go.

the point

2010-07-24T17:24:00.000-04:00

last night i returned to pittsburgh after another week of playing music at suncrest camp. for those who don't know, suncrest is a christian and missionary alliance camp in new sewickley township, pa, near rochester. this past week was for middle school kids, so the vibe wasn't quite as intense as for the high school kids last month. the week was exhausting at times, frustrating at others, yet ultimately rewarding. we may end up tired and in need of time away from camp at the end of the week, but the fact is that as a result of our work there are kids now who know who Jesus is and what He did for us.

today i'm experiencing the hangover. last month the hangover was a result of missing a lot of close friends from camp who i don't see very often. i missed playing music with some of my favorite co-worship-leaders. i instantly missed the running jokes that we've all enjoyed telling with one another.

this time is different, though. i do miss the people, of course. but i think i've discovered the root of the hangover, for myself at least. the fact is that during that week at suncrest it's all about showing kids who Jesus is. no matter if we're eating, singing, playing, hanging out, or having cabin time, the point is clear. we, as leaders, are all on the same page that the ministry of suncrest camp is the most important thing. if we are growing weary, we can be re-energized by remembering that the devil is working harder to counteract the work we're doing. that is a revitalizing thought; one that has kept me going many times.

when you get back into the "real world", though, that's not the point to people around you all the time. i go to school and work with people who may not understand why i would sacrifice a week's income to go to a tiny camp in the middle of nowhere, beaver county. these people may be concerned with making money, getting ahead in their job, and satisfying their own personal day-to-day pleasures. it's hard to blame them. if i didn't have God to rely on for those things, i'd probably be more concerned with them, too.

the fact is that the devil is working his tail off to make sure that we come back into our real lives and go back to what we used to do. trusting ourselves to provide, worrying about where the money's coming from and how we're going to get it. at suncrest, we all want to spread Jesus. out here, it's not the case. everyone's not on my side. we're not all on the same page. we don't all have the same concerns. it's a challenge, but it's a challenge worth facing. we, as christians, are different than the rest of the world. i suppose it's time to show the world why we're different.

a quick thought

2010-06-08T18:39:00.000-04:00

i know i said last week that i was done blogging for the summer, and i am. but i want to leave one quick thought that i came across when i was journaling today.

"i recognize two things about God: 1. He can do anything. 2. I don't know what He's going to do next. It's the ultimate drama; living my life while being completely at the mercy of an all-powerful, unpredictable, and sometimes simply illogical God who loves me more than I know."

hit up jeremiah 29:11.

new direction

2010-05-24T09:50:00.000-04:00

i don't like the way this blog is going. my thoughts have been well and good, but sometimes i think i'm writing a blog just to write a blog. when i first started writing in this thing i had something to say. i wasn't writing just to write, i was writing to share thoughts that seemed worth sharing. lately, though, i'm not sure my thoughts have been worth sharing. not my public ones, at least.

so i'm taking a break. last summer i intended to "find myself", which i think i did. by the end of the summer of 2009 i was living in pittsburgh again, back in school, and restarting. i've had almost a year back in the city now and i'm staring in the face of my first summer of living in the city. thoughts and ideas will come and go this summer, but i'm not going to share them here. i'm taking the summer off from blogging.

this summer i'm looking to refresh.

i wrote a few months ago about my interest in becoming disconnected. technology has left us all with cell phones to instantly connect to one another, and half of us with the internet available on those same devices. facebook has managed to manufacture relationships while keeping you "in touch" with friends you weren't sure you ever had. well, now it's time to take some steps toward disconnection. i thought about deleting my facebook, but i'll just avoid it instead. after all, it's a useful mode of communication when necessary. same with email. but this blog has become simply a forum for me to talk and for you to listen. my thoughts haven't been interesting enough for me to continue.

so this summer i'm going to journal, paint, write songs, play music, experience art, read, and interact. this summer is about getting back down to basics and remembering who i am and where i'm going. i'm riding a bike for most of my sunny day transportation. i'm making time to journal and read the Bible. i'm hitting the refresh button. that's what this summer is about for me. i hope to see you along the way.

one goal

2010-05-13T01:07:00.000-04:00

i am small. i am one small person in a very, very large world. i live a very small, insignificant life. i am just one small person.

sometimes this is how i feel. sure, it's a small world; like when you happen to have a mutual acquaintance with someone. but it's a large world, for real. we live in a tiny, insignificant group of united states of america. we may think that the world revolves around us, but it doesn't. at the very least, think about the fact that the most popular sport in the world (soccer) will have a world cup this summer and the united states will not win it. pretty bold to make a definitive statement, but the usa simply does not accel at the world's sport. so there, the usa is not significant.

getting back to you and me. mostly me. i'm small. i am not much in this world. my life doesn't mean much. the most important thing in my life tomorrow is making enough money (X) to get by for the week. i have to make Y this week, so as long as i make X tomorrow i should be fine. but if i don't make X tomorrow, the world won't end. i'll come home, have a tuna melt, a salad, and maybe a beer, and call it a day. it will be a good day. my bills will get paid, my stomach will be fed, and i'll live to fight another day.

my problems are insignificant. i have no one to concern myself with besides myself. i have family and friends who love me. if i really need money, i can get it. that's not a big deal. if i get stiffed on a tip, whatever. things will work themselves out.

how can i live in this way? well, i'll tell you. the most important thing i'll do on any give day has little to do with the job i go to, the studying i complete, or even the friends i encounter. it has very little to do with grocery shopping, bill-paying, or errand-running. no, the most important thing i do comes at the end of the day (and i'm not talking about my daily 8 hours of sleep). at the end of the day i'll read part of david crowder's "praise habit" book or something related to it. i'll read a psalm from that book, or maybe a different version of the psalm i'm on, or maybe the chapter in the book associated with that psalm. what's most important about this act is not even the psalm, but the meaning behind it.

God loves me. God loves me so much that He sent His only Son to die for me! what! how could any being do that? sending His son to make this ultimate sacrifice. it's truth, though. these psalms are in celebration of God's love for me. for us. these psalms are a constant reminder of this neverending love. at the very bottom of everything, God loves me. that is more important than money, friends, status, or objects.

tomorrow i have two things to do. one is to enjoy every minute as much as possible. the other is to make disciples of all nations. thanks to the love God has shown me, i can accomplish both of these things with one simple act; to love all people.

"stars" - david crowder band

culmination

2010-04-11T09:31:00.001-04:00

we've all made mistakes. some more than others. i usually think i'm part of that "some" who have experienced more miscues than triumphs. i've never claimed to be a great decision-maker. i make a lot of choices with my heart instead of my head. many times it ends up paying off, but it can result in a lot of inconsistent behavior; or maybe even consistent behavior in making the same mistakes.

there's no sense in beating myself up over it, though. i do what i do and i have my reasons. i never studied abroad in college, which i regret now because i've developed a strong desire to see much of the world. but i know that my interest in studying abroad was not there at the time, so that's why it never happened. so my regret is erased. no sense worrying about something i cannot change. all i can do now is see the world on my own account.

life is so much about action and reaction. sometimes the worst thing you can do is sit back and let life happen. you have to make your own luck, get out there and do the things you want to do. sometimes there will be failures, but there will be triumphs. those victories will be worth it. but you can't win if you don't play. something about who God is that has stood out to me lately is that we have to make that effort to get to Him, to get to what we want, before He will give us that hand. He's not going to come along and give us anything. we have to take the first step and show that we trust Him to provide.

recently i've finally gone out and done some things i've been meaning to do. i started writing a short story in december. the first draft has been completed and i'm getting ready to work hard on revisions this summer. i have written some songs that i'm proud of since the start of graduate school, so this past weekend i finally recorded a few and put them on a myspace. you can see the link to the right of this page.

the fact is that today, this moment, is a culmination of your life. everything you and i have done to this point has resulted in this exact moment on this precise day. we've made mistakes and learned from them. we've tasted victory and want more. the question today is how can we take those mistakes, learn from them, and turn it into something amazing? things can be different. by stepping out and trusting God, we can make decisions that we've been afraid to make. let's go do that. today!

I do not regret the things I've done, but those I did not do. - Lucas, Empire Records

O Lord, our Lord, the majesty of your name fills the earth! - Psalm 8:9

victory over death

2010-04-04T09:35:00.000-04:00

it is Easter morning. today is the day we celebrate the rising of Jesus Christ from the dead, physically depicting the victory He shares with us over death. death has no hold on us because Christ sacrificed His own life to save ours.

this is simple to say today. we'll go to church and they will tell us about it. we will proclaim "He is risen!" along with everyone else. we will sing songs and hymns about the fact that Christ is risen today. i've never been to a Easter service at a non-Catholic church, but i can clearly hear the singing at good samaritan in ambridge; Jesus Christ is risen today! alleluia! but what does it all mean? it means eternal life, indeed. but for those of us who want to experience some kind of tangible meaning here today, what does it mean?

the meaning of Christ's victory over death today tells me that the life i experience in this world has an end. this life is short and sweet, but should be enjoyed. chances should be taken, opportunities should not be passed. bucket lists should be completed and life should be lived to the fullest. as Christ commands us in matthew, we are to spread the good news. we are to go and make disciples. as st francis suggests, we are to preach the gospel always, and when necessary use words. we are to be a living sacrifice in representation of the sacrifice made by Jesus.

Christ died to save us. the least we could do is share that news.

He is risen indeed.

one man's brief guide to restaurant etiquette

2010-02-25T12:24:00.000-05:00

i'm not one to hold up to commitments all the time, so i hope everyone took my post with a grain of salt when i announced that i'd be doing a restaurant etiquette post a few months ago. sorry about that. welcome to my life. i got a few people who thought that'd be a good idea, though, because there are enough people who don't know some things that i, having worked in a restaurant for a couple years now, thought was common knowledge about how to act, how to tip, what to order, etc. well, sorry about the wait, but finally here are some of my thoughts. i'm no expert, i'm just sharing what i've learned from my first two years of experience, having very little idea of what the business was like before i started (like many of you, i'm sure).

first, a preface. i started reading "kitchen confidential: adventures in the culinary underbelly" by anthony bourdain (host of no reservations on the travel channel). it's a great read and i think everyone should pick it up and read through it if you plan on eating out a good bit. you'll get an idea of the types of people who work in a restaurant, the tiresome grind that we (especially the behind-the-scenes cooks and prep people) go through to fill your bellies. so for more about the food side of the equation, read it.

1. respecting your seaters

you walk into your favorite spot on a friday night. there's a wait. you're surprised. i have to wait 20 minutes to be sat? but i'm hungry! i don't have the patience for this! guess what, my friend, it's a friday night. or even a wednesday night. depending on the place, time of day, and time of year, you're going to wait. don't take it out on the host staff. they want you up there bitching and moaning to them about as much as you want to be up there bitching and moaning. it's one of the most mindless, yet thankless jobs in the front of the house. "why don't you just push a couple tables together for our party of 8?" sir, you're brilliant! my life is changed and has been made simpler thanks to the most basic suggestion of how to seat your oversized party in the restaurant i spend more time in than i'd like to count. you're a life saver!

the host staff knows what they're doing. if they don't seat you in an empty section, it's probably because there is no server there. go ahead and sit wherever you want, they can't guarantee that you'll be served there if they don't put you there themselves.

2. respect your wait staff

i'll be flogged for saying that the host staff is the most underappreciated group in the front of the house, but servers have an argument. we run, we smile, we try not to roll our eyes, and we get your food to you as fast as the kitchen gets it to us. and all for what, 15% of your bill? 20% if you're a good tipper. we'll get to tips in a minute. respect your wait staff, they're handling your food for pete's sake. watch "waiting". it doesn't happen everywhere, but just know that those people you might disrespect are in charge of what does or does not enter your body for the next hour.

be aware of how busy your server is. if they're running around refilling bread and drinks for 3 other tables, chances are they won't get to your water in the next 10 seconds. ask for things in bunches so they're not running back and forth for one thing at a time.

and for goodness sake, try not to be picky. allergies, take em into account, we won't be bothered by that. those tomatoes you could live without? pick them out yourself, or suck em down cause they're good for you. i can't speak for the culinary crew, but i'm guessing they're not big fans of picky eaters. even at a chain like olive garden, recipes have been prepared and used by chefs because that's how they're supposed to be prepared. yea, you can change the sauce or garnish, but you're running the risk of being insulting in saying that your way is better than the chef's. being picky complicates things and, depending on how much your server cares or may be absent-minded (me), you may not even get that parsley left off of your fett alfredo, anyways.

3. respect the money

i didn't realize that not everyone in the united states knew that servers, generally, make $2.83 an hour and that courtesy is to tip at least 15% of your bill. well, now you know. it's not true everywhere in the country, as i've been informed that CA pays their servers more, but in general we are living off those tips. know that anything less than 15% is an insult if our service was on par. a 10% tip is an insult. anything less and i'd rather just get stiffed, but make sure to watch your back on your way out. if we do everything, get everything you want, and make your experience enjoyable, then take that into account.

i tip 20%. that's me, though. tip what you think is appropriate. if you go to eat n park for a cup of coffee and a cookie, keep an eye on how many times your coffee is refilled. sure, your bill is $4, but their service deserves more than a dollar. if you get a three course meal, think before you leave $4.

finally, think about how long you're there. you have dinner with an old friend, coffee and dessert, then sit and chat for another hour. sure, your server isn't necessarily getting you anything aside from an occasional decaff refill, but you're keeping them from using that table for another set of paying customers. if you're going to sit twice as long, consider tipping twice as much. this is how people are making a living, so if you're keeping them from having another table, then have the courtesy to make up for it.

4. respecting the food

i don't have a lot to say about this, but i'll share a couple items from "kitchen confidential". first, if you eat out on a monday it might not be the best option to order fish. the fish that will be served on monday will be leftover from the weekend. it's whatever the owner doesn't want to throw out because it's still clean and safe, yet it's not fresh. tuesday's and thursday's fish are better options. second, ordering a well done steak will get you the scraps. in regard to the "tough, slightly skanky end-cut of sirloin that's been pushed repeatedly to the back of the pile", it's likely that the chef will choose to "'save for well-done' - serve it to some rube who prefers to eat his meat or fish incinerated into a flavorless, leathery hunk of carbon, who won't be able to tell if what he's eating is food or flotsam." these are from the mouth of a chef, friends. for more, read the book.

finally, in regards to food, expect what you pay for. yea, olive garden and tgi friday's are better than mcdonalds, but not much. olive garden is going to coat your food in heavy cream and butter, making it utterly unhealthy, and causing the obesity problem in america charged solely on fast food restaurants. it's true, folks, there's a reason i ate there twice during my employment. it tastes good, but you'll regret it later. if you want some high quality food made by trained professionals, you're going to have to pay for it; probably why i don't eat out much.

so that's what i've got. keep in mind, i'm no expert, i'm simply a partially jaded veteran of chain restaurant service. this isn't everything, either, but it's what you need to know at the beginning. notice the key word: respect. respect your service-providers and they'll respect you.

legacy

2010-02-05T00:05:00.001-05:00

i rarely make posts two days in a row, but i haven't been hit with something to write about this much in a while.

sometimes i get the feeling that i'm going to be one of those people whose life gets cut short too early. i don't mean that in a pessimistic, depressing way (there IS another way, believe it!) but i mean it in a way that i'm aware of the possibility that any drive to work could be my last; my next soccer game could be my last; this blog could be my last. let's face it, life comes at us fast and sometimes it's too fast for us to survive. i don't think that i'm going to die before i'm 90, but i feel like it makes sense to live life like i could go early.

so if you died today, what would people remember about you? what would be said at your funeral? what is the legacy you'll leave behind? i'm reading donald miller's new book, a million miles in a thousand years, and it talks mainly about how our lives are stories. he is recounting his life and realizing that he's done a lot of talking, but maybe not enough living. his earlier book, through painted deserts, prompted a trip to seattle last summer (and again this summer), but this one is giving me that motivation i need to get out there and make a story of my life.

most things that happen in movies don't happen in real life, as explained by moviemakers in miller's newest work. but that doesn't mean we can't get out there and try to do things that only happen in the movies. have adventures, take chances, juggle risks. no one's ever won the lottery without playing it. jack johnson wouldn't be on our itunes if he didn't write his songs down. bill gates wouldn't be one of the richest men in america without creating something useful for the world. michael jordan wouldn't be the greatest basketball player of all time if he'd had listened to his middle school coach who cut him.

to go along with the resolution i referenced yesterday, i'd say another new resolution of how i'll live my life is to make sure that everything i'm doing is either A) the most enjoyable thing i could be doing at the time or B) helping me strive toward a greater goal in my life. approaching every minute of every day this way should help create the story i want people to reflect on.

a better man

2010-02-03T22:51:00.000-05:00

today was a very reflective day. i realized how absent-minded and misguided i am sometimes in remembering assignments that i had to do and prescriptions that i need filled at the last minute. some of the simplest tasks, like paying 50 cents and making a cup of coffee, became incredibly difficult for my brain to focus on. the day was a wash in terms of accomplishing what i wanted to accomplish, so here i sit at 11pm still just letting my mind wander rather than do anything productive.

today is a day where i get to the end of the day and still realize that things are very day-to-day for me. i'm in a grad program that i like, but i'm not super-stoked to get out and study and learn about higher ed management. i have a job that pays the bills, but i don't particularly care for. i have a lot more free time on my hands than my friends, but i still don't have enough to accomplish what i want to accomplish during the day. i just want to spend the day playing guitar, reading, writing, and having fun. i guess that's too much to ask after you graduate college, but is it? it depresses me to think that we can be limited in the things we really want to do by society telling us we need a job and a degree and to clean our house and mow the grass and blah blah blah. by the time we perform daily maintenance on our life, the day is over.

but maybe living life day-to-day isn't such a bad thing. why spend so much time worrying about what's going to happen in the future when you don't even know if the future will come? i guess that brings me to the point that life is just a series of events, moments in time that we have the chance to do something great; to leave a legacy. a moment comes and then it's gone, it doesn't wait for very long for you to decide the difference between right and wrong. before you know it, time has passed and you've just been sitting around thinking about it instead of living it.

i wanted to write a new years resolution blog last month, but never got to it. i don't really have any resolutions that i wouldn't want to uphold constantly, anyways. i want to be a better man than i was at the beginning of the year. in 2009 i made a lot of mistakes. i took a lot of chances. i made some important decisions. i hurt some people, but helped some others. i did a lot of selfish things, but i also did a lot of selfless things. i experienced a lot of moments, lived in them, reacted to them, and at the end of the day i'm a better man in 2010 than i was in 2009 because of it. that's really all i want, and that's really all we can strive for.

changing the world

2010-01-19T23:35:00.000-05:00

i tried my hand at a post earlier tonight, but i didn't like it. it rambled and was fairly inconsistent from the beginning to the end. so this is my second shot at it.

today was a beautiful day of rest. i awoke this morning without much on my plate. i had lunch with a friend in cranberry and coffee with another friend in highland park. i spent a lot of time by myself and a lot with friends as well. these are the sort of days necessary to keep us refreshed.

during my cup of coffee with robby i came across a bit of advice that should be taken myself. every day we are given the opportunity to change the world and have our own lives changed. tomorrow looks like a pretty standard day of work and class, but who knows what is in store for me. i could encounter a customer tomorrow who could change my life, or i could be faced with an opportunity to be of particular help to a co-worker who is struggling with a personal issue. i could be left an encouraging tip or word, or i could give an encouraging word myself. every day we are given opportunities to change the world, it's a matter of how we perceive those opportunities and follow through with them.

i tend to put the weight of the world on my shoulders sometimes. i also like to counter that by putting no weight, sometimes not even my own, on my shoulders. it's intimidating as Christians to go through life thinking that we have to help everyone or fix everyone, especially when we have plenty of things to repair in our own lives. sharing the gospel is an important thing, but i think sometimes we lose sight of the "actions speak louder than words" fact. unless we show love, we cannot preach love.

as fortunate or unfortunate as that fact may be, it's truth. we are faced with a burden of having to be an example of Christ at all times. but we also have the exciting task of sharing the gospel with our actions daily. with our actions we should show love, but with our words we can acknowledge that we, too, are sinners and are, in fact, forgiven.

a friends in one of my grad school classes last semester encouraged me to be prepared for attacks and questions. he prepared for class more than anyone i've seen in our program and was an example to our classmates of how to be a good student. in the same way we should be examples in whatever we do. when i bus tables at work, i try to help my co-workers as much as possible. from the minute i clock in to the minute i walk out the door i'm trying to be useful to my servers as much as possible. it might pay off with better tips and it might not, but working hard to serve them is my way of washing feet. we should all be prepared to wash feet and change someone's perception of our world.

favorite albums of 2009

2009-12-31T21:46:00.000-05:00

A year-end blog is coming soon, but in the meantime here is my list of favorite albums from 2009.

10. Thrice – Beggars

A late entry, this is not my favorite album from Thrice as they continue to go in a different direction, but Beggars is complete with some great tracks. The Weight is a song any couple considering marriage should check out.

Key track: The Weight

9. Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band – Outer South

It took some warming up to, but the singer/songwriter from Bright Eyes gives some less-angsty tunes with a different band. Conor doesn’t even sing on my favorite track, Difference is Time.

Key tracks: Difference is Time, Slowly (Oh So Slowly)

8. Brand New – Daisy

I’ll get some heat here because this is also not my favorite work from Brand New, but this is Brand New like em or not. They continue to drift more and more into darkness with Daisy and there are definitely some explosions on this album, like its opener, Vices.

Key Tracks: Bought a Bride, At the Bottom

7. fun. – Aim and Ignite

It took me until this year to listen to The Format, which was a mistake, so thankfully I jumped on the bandwagon early with fun. This album is full of catchy tunes that stay true to the band’s name.

Key tracks: At Least I’m Not As Sad (As I Used to Be), Walking the Dog

6. The Fray – The Fray

I may take even more heat here in saying that I prefer this self-titled work to The Fray’s first album, How to Save a Life. There are incredible singles on this album, but the guys hit us with a complete album from top to bottom. You Found Me is absolutely my favorite song in years.

Key tracks: You Found Me, Syndicate, Never Say Never

5. House of Heroes – The End is Not the End

Okay, this album was released digitally in 2008, but I didn’t buy it until their hard copy release this year. House of Heroes came back with 16 tracks of pop-punk genius. Every track will get caught in your head, but the lyrics are what keep you coming back for more.

Key tracks: By Your Side, Code Name: Raven, Sooner or Later

4. The Takeover UK – Running with the Wasters

No, they’re not British. In fact, they’re from Pittsburgh. This album displays The Takeover UK’s old-style rock-and-roll paired with new-style energy. Their lives shows are a sight to behold, with a dedicated group of fans dancing non-stop.

Key tracks: Running with the Wasters, Ah La La, Don’t Wait Up

3. Taking Back Sunday – New Again

I did not listen to Tell All Your Friends in its entirety in high school or even college. That being said, this is my favorite TBS album. They’re never going to recreate Tell All Your Friends, so be amazed by what they’re giving us. This album didn’t leave my CD player for weeks because the end roped you right into listening to the beginning again. They’ve grown up, singing about becoming fully entrenched in adulthood.

Key tracks: Summer, Man, Everything Must Go, Carpathia

2. The Avett Brothers – I and Love and You

These guys are my favorite band. I&L&Y doesn’t always provide the up-tempo banjo/acoustic/hi-hat/kick drum combo that fans have become used to, but this is lyrically the best album from some of the best songwriters today. The Avetts continue to blow up from this album, having performed on late night TV three times. Check out their live show, you’ll be hooked.

Key tracks: January Wedding, Laundry Room, The Perfect Space

1. Rx Bandits – Mandala

This album is a masterpiece. Rx Bandits continue to be terribly underrated, probably because they can be associate with ska still. But Mandala brings what …And the Battle Begun promised was coming. From start to finish, Mandala hits you in the face, confuses you, explains itself, then hits you in the face and starts again. It is a designed chaos. The musicianship is second-to-none, complete with drumming parts I couldn’t imagine even starting and guitar solos that flow one piece into another. Combine the vocals making Mandala another album with songs you can’t get out of your head, but also can’t comprehend.

Key tracks: Hope is a Butterfly, No Net Its Captor, Bled to Be Free (The Operation), Breakfast Cat

Honorable Mention: Cartel – Cycles, Say Anything – Say Anything, Manchester Orchestra – Mean Everything to Nothing, Relient K – Forget and Not Slow Down

don't give up

2009-12-08T21:37:00.001-05:00

cancer scares me quite a bit. it probably scares me more than anything and definitely scares me more than it should. any time i think about it i consider the things i can do to live a healthier life and try to google what foods i should eat to prevent cancer in my own life. it's a scary thing to know that there is a disease which kills so many people that does not have a high rate of elimination once it's a part of your body. in this day and age of medicine it sometimes feels like we are invincible because there aren't many diseases that can take us over, but the thought of cancer makes me feel helpless.

jim valvano was a legendary basketball coach for north carolina state. he coached the wolfpack to an upset national championship in 1983 over the houston cougars which featured future nba players and hall of famers. jimmy v was a spectacular motivational speaker and a great man in sports. he also died of cancer in 1983, 2 months after giving a famous speech at the espy awards which can be seen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePXlkqkFH6s

in the midst of this speech valvano motivates us all to live our lives to the fullest. he makes this suggestion: "To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. And number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special."

on this day of the jimmy v classic, which is in celebration of the jimmy v foundation for cancer research, i want to encourage everyone to experience these things. allow life to take you over. laugh daily. think daily. allow your emotions to overcome you daily. if we do these three things daily we will live amazing lives. but more importantly, if we don't do these things daily, then are we even living?

you only have one life to live. one opportunity. take advantage.

connection

2009-12-01T19:49:00.000-05:00

without connection, we would die. we hear studies about how babies who aren't held and loved tend to not develop the same as babies who are. this makes a lot of sense. my parents cared so much for me as a baby and as a child. and now my sister and brother are doing the same for their children. and i hope to do the same for mine. this simple act can go a long way in helping someone develop as a human.

i think the same remains true as we get older. i wrote a few months ago about disconnection, so some of those ideas might overflow here, but it's something i've considered more again.

there's nothing like feeling a connection with someone. i literally feel chills when i have a breakthrough in a relationship with someone, like the first time a conversation at work progresses past our dislike for waiting tables, or the first time i hold a girl's hand. it makes me feel like we can see each other as more than just co-workers or more than just friends. i think it makes sense to say that a major goal in our lives is to create these connections between ourselves and others. 95% of all people marry, so right there is the goal of finding a mate with whom we make a unique connection.

justin vernon spent three months secluded in his father's northwestern wisconsin cabin after battling with mono and breaking up with a band and a girl. he wrote the majority of the album "for emma, forever ago" by his band bon iver in that time. ray lamontagne did a similar thing in a cabin in maine. these things fascinate me because it makes me feel like they'd come back to civilization with a newfound respect or understanding of being connected with people. i consider the possibility of doing just this, although i doubt it will happen, not necessarily to write an album but moreso to rewrite my life. going through a fasting of any sort will give you a new vision of how that thing effects your life.

for similar reasons i must have time to myself every day. this is usually at the end of the day before i go to bed. this is time for me to do whatever i want, which usually involves listening to music. even when i am by myself, i am making a connection with someone else. i'm connecting with justin vernon, scott avett, or andrew mcmahon, as they sing their words into my ear. i write in my journal words that may be shared with others in the future, or may simply be shared with a future version of myself. i'm writing this blog to connect with you. i play guitar or drums in hopes of connecting with future band members. over the past year and a half i have spent more time by myself than i have in a long time, but even while i'm by myself i am constantly doing things to connect with people. as i've gotten older i think i've just found new ways to make these connections.

most importantly, i am constantly connecting with God. He hears all of my thoughts. He caters to all of my needs. He gives me all the words to write in my journal, in my blog, or in my songs. i like to believe that when God sees us connecting with one another he gets that same chill that i get. furthermore, i hope that when God sees me sharing His love with others that he gets an even bigger chill. i know i do.

seasons

2009-11-04T17:56:00.001-05:00

seasons fascinate me. they're one of the main reasons i love pittsburgh. we have the pleasure of encountering the characteristics of every season throughout the year. summer is hot, winter is cold, fall and spring are transitory. it's beautiful to experience them all and they all have different memories associated with them.

fall provides pennsylvania with some of the most incredible scenery. driving across the state in october provided a miraculous display of colors spread across the hills and mountains. i can't help but carry around a camera between september and november in hopes of catching just the right autumn scene. fall gives you it's own beginning, associated with the beginning of the school year. it gives you new hope for a new academic year as well as reconnection with friends who have been gone for some or all of the summer. playing football in the backyard and going to games as a child, then as a teen, then as an adult are vivid memories.

winter may provide some of my favorite memories. six inches of snow can change the appearance of everything. for some it means a hectic drive to work, but for others it simply means a walk home so quiet that you can hear the snow landing on your shoulder. my fondest winter memories, besides the obvious playtime in the backyard as a child, are of riding bikes with andy and mike to centre plaza for weekend hangouts. i still remember the night i met, or became closer friends with, many of my current best friends today; riding up to centre plaza in the cold and watching the killers perform "when you were young" on snl. that winter of 07-08 provided many jaunts to shadyside, often too cold to have actually considered the bike rides we took.

spring is the awakening. nature is done with it's season-long nap and everything is in full bloom. we are given that fresh start we've been hoping for and, for pitt students at least, the schoolwork seems almost over. remembering what it's like to play basketball outdoors is a welcomed struggle. how warm does it have to be to wear shorts outside again? 40? people are abuzz in the streets because it doesn't hurt your face to avoid the scarves anymore.

and then there's summer. childhood was filled with 9 months of pining after the summertime. let's finish school, let's go out and play. to a point, it remains true your whole life. grilling out, playing wiffleball in the backyard, and spending nights with a beer and a friend on your porch are all you need to enjoy the heat.

every season provides a re-awakening, a fresh start. they're distinct in their own ways and keep life from being monotonous for the whole year. different music can be associated with different seasons. right now is the bright eyes season and soon we'll be transitioning to death cab. sure, there are negatives to the heat of the summer or the cold and snow of the winter, but where would i, or we, be without those benchmarks to remember times past?

image

2009-10-26T22:41:00.000-04:00

saturday i was journaling at camp about the idea of image. church camp speakers frequently talk about this idea at retreats, i think. it makes sense. in high school, Jesus isn't cool. doing drugs and drinking and having sex is cool in high school, but going to church and youth group and reading the Bible really isn't. image was a lot different in high school than it is at my age, having graduated from undergrad on to grad school and almost into the "real world".

the other day i bought some cheap jeans from wal-mart. i'm generally opposed to wal-mart's practices, but that usually gets outweighed by the fact that i'm a poor grad school student and can't pass up $8 for new jeans. i'm pretty proud of spending so little on jeans. i bought two pairs for half the price it usually costs for one. no, they're not abercrombie or some other stylish brand, but they do the job and they don't look bad. this is not a decision i would have made as a teenager. teenagers are constantly challenged to improve their image by wearing cool clothes and acting cool all the time to impress others. how would people have felt about me in high school if i wore wal-mart jeans every day? maybe they wouldn't have cared, but i wasn't about to find out.

as we grow up we grow out of these external insecurities. we wear what feels comfortable. it's convenient that hipster crazes have brought sloppy dressing back into style so we can wear hoodies, jeans, or flannel and still feel like we're dressing hip. but the fact is i don't care how i look anymore. that's saying a lot considering several of my fellow students in grad school will come from work wearing nice dresses or shirt-and-ties while i'm sitting in the back with my avett brothers t-shirt and ripped jeans. sure, there's pressure to dress to impress, but as we get older i think we ignore that pressure a little more. or maybe that's just me.

but, as was pointed out by a close friend tonight, our insecurities change from external to internal. several of my friends have been getting married or are currently engaged. most of my friends have full-time jobs and live on their own. some of my friends are now even homeowners. the insecurities we develop as adults is the comparison we draw between ourselves and our friends in our maturity and our life stages. it's hard for me to wait tables while some of my friends are making enough to pay mortgages. it's unsettling to see girls i've dated getting married. and at times i feel immature when i have a 10-page paper due in two days and all i can do is pick up a guitar.

last night at the open door bj told us, in so many words, that comparing ourselves with others is a way to take the joy out of our lives. the truth is that God really does have timing for us and our lives. any time we compare ourselves with others we will feel like failures. we will always see the great things in others and not in ourselves. i see how good my friends are at playing instruments and think that i'll never be as good as they are. i'll see other friends playing sports and realize that i'll never be as good an athlete as others. i see a lot of my friends settling into marriage-situations at my age, or maybe even younger, and i'll feel like i'm falling behind. the fact is that i don't even want to get married right now, so why does that bother me? i'm not bad at guitar and i was even told recently that my voice isn't bad, so why should i worry about being some kind of expert? and i'm above average at a wide range of sports, so what does it matter if i'm not the best at any one in particular?

the fact is that God has created me as a masterpiece, as the speaker said this weekend. i've been created in this way for a reason. i'm in graduate school now to better equip me to serve the Lord in the future. i may not be as good as christian at playing guitar or singing, but he's not as good as i am on drums and that's how God has created us. it's hard to sit back and watch my friends progress in their lives as i sit back and do schoolwork again, but i also need to realize that when i'm done i'll have my masters degree and will be ready for what's next for me. it's not about having the confidence to wear inexpensive clothes anymore, it's about having the confidence to live a different lifestyle.

jared anderson's song, "rescue", speaks to me intensely every time. my favorite line is "this world has nothing for me", and that's the absolute truth. i don't serve anyone on this earth. i don't serve my managers or my professors or my classmates or my co-workers or even my friends. i serve the Lord Jesus Christ and no one else. through the Holy Spirit i do good works for the people around me, but this world has nothing to offer me besides the opportunity to share that Spirit with the people in it. that's the image i am called to project.

ephesians 2:10 - For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

introduction to interactivity

2009-10-04T10:04:00.000-04:00

friends,

thank you all so much for reading my blog. i don't know why you do, but you do and i appreciate it. i've received many compliments and encouragements and it means a lot to me. you start a blog to write down your thoughts and see if anyone's interested in reading them, so when it's reinforced that people are reading and want to read more it makes me happy.

my next series of blogs will be about restaurant etiquette. by series i may mean 5 or 3 or 1, who knows. but i plan on writing about this subject because i think people need to read it. am i qualified as some kind of expert? no. i'm just writing because a year and a half ago i never worked in a restaurant and since working as a server, host, and busser, i've learned a lot that i didn't know before. so i'd like to share these things with you in hopes that we can all become better restaurant customers.

do you like this idea? do you not like this idea? do you have suggestions about what you might want/need to know? please comment and let me know your thoughts.

jake

direction

2009-09-17T20:10:00.000-04:00

graduate school started a few weeks ago for me. classes, schoolwork, reading, it's all back and i'm not particularly excited about it. graduate school is a means to an end for me. i can't find a job, i want a job at a college, so i'm in higher education management. makes sense right? i thought it did, at least. that is until i got to my classes and realized that about 95% of my program is considerably more motivated and career-oriented than i am. this made me wonder; am i not motivated enough? am i missing something? are my priorities out of whack? why am i the only one in the class who seems to have things on their mind besides school?

so let's investigate. american society today has different priorities than it once did. people in the professional realm seem to place quite a bit of importance on money. maybe that's not the difference. but people in my class talked about how people in our line of work may choose to be single longer because they have long hours and lots of moving from job to job. working their way up the professional ladder to bigger and better careers seems like the motivation for people in my classes. who doesn't want bigger and better though? i mean, i could always use more money. but what are they sacrificing by making these professional moves? relationships? friends? time to themselves? i'm pretty sure i have little interest in sacrificing those things.

so now i start thinking about why my mindset is different than my classmates'. my focus in my career is pretty much to make enough money to provide for myself and my family. that's it. i don't have any big career aspirations. i know my dad raised my family on a pretty modest salary, put us all through college, and raised quite a beautiful family, life, and home. and he never became president of anything. were his motivations wrong? is there something missing? my thoughts are no. my priorities are different than my colleagues. do i want to be president of college? sure, it'd be cool. am i willing to put forth those long hours and sacrifices to do so? i doubt it. is that so wrong?

my motivation in my life right now and for the future is pretty simple; be as happy as possible all the time. that's it man. why on earth would i want to do anything else? heck, that's selfish enough. i haven't even mentioned the part about my faith calling me to serve God in all that i do; the other goal in my life. so what kind of motivation does that give me for my career? i want to move up the ladder, find a job i like, make as much money as possible. but the more money i make, the better i can provide for my family, the more my wife can stay home and care for our kids, the more i can donate to my friends in ministry and other worthy causes.

my short term goal isn't anything complicated. right now i want to enjoy life as much as possible while graduating. in two years i want to get to seattle. i want to live there and get started in the higher ed realm. that's it. and that might change between now and the time i graduate. what i do know is that my friend jenn seemed to enjoy being an RD at seattle pacific university and that looks pretty good to me too. at least it'll pay more than olive garden.

all signs point west

2009-09-08T23:46:00.000-04:00

this is the third time i've tried to type this entry. i think it's just hard for me to put into words exactly what i'm thinking and feeling since returning from seattle. anyone who's been there knows why it's amazing. anyone who hasn't been there needs to go. when i left two weeks ago i said there was a 40% chance that i'd end up there after graduation from grad school. as time goes on, that percentage grows. i can't get the city off my mind and i don't know if i will until i return.

it's like an ex-girlfriend who dumps you but gives you definite hope that things might work out with you two. i see things that remind me of her all over the place. styles of clothes, death cab songs, my sounders fc scarf. i can't get away from it. my journal started with seattle and is just full of seattle memories and thoughts. what doesn't help is that i returned to pittsburgh to find some newfound schoolwork and a less lucrative job than when i left. not only is it less lucrative, but i don't know how many more tables i can serve before i just take off my apron and walk out. basically, my vacation life in seattle seems infinitely better than my stress-filled life in pittsburgh.

maybe that's why i want seattle so badly. because it's something new. it's something different. i don't know why. maybe it's the constant view of puget sound. maybe it's the coffeeshops, book stores, and record stores all over. maybe it's the wilderness just outside the city limits. maybe it's the friendliness of the people or the relaxed mood of the west coast. i'm not sure if i can pinpoint anything in particular. all i know is it's intriguing. so intriguing that i'm pretty certain it'll be the destination after graduation. if i can wait that long.

leaving

2009-08-18T22:36:00.000-04:00

it's an amazing thing. it can change lives. it can make you realize what you've left behind. it can also show you what you've never seen and what could be. i haven't done a lot of leaving, but i'm about to do some and it intrigues me. it makes me wonder whether the grass is really greener. it makes me wonder what God has in store for me next. it also makes me wonder if i'll come back, or if i'll even want to come back.

tomorrow i'm taking a trip to seattle. this was really a compromise from a road trip i wanted to take around the country when i first thought of the idea. i wanted to do this after reading "through painted deserts" by donald miller. i wanted to check out something new, head west, find myself. so i talked myself down to a flight to seattle to visit my newlywed friends jenn and ron cepek. conveniently my friend scott decided to join late. we'll be there the same time, but on different flights. when scott and i were talking about the trip he said to me that there's something about flying across the country that makes you feel like you're leaving something behind. what makes my situation even more amazing is that i really am leaving a lot behind.

today i am a resident of economy borough and an employee of olive garden in cranberry. when i get back from seattle next week i'll be a resident of pittsburgh, an employee of olive garden in green tree, and a graduate student at pitt. this trip is the transition between one life and another. life will be different and it's a difference i've been looking for for a long time. i've grown fond of my co-workers in cranberry, but this isn't where i belong. and that's a lot of what i'll be considering on this trip.

my favorite part about the traveling portion of this trip is the fact that scott and i are flying by ourselves. this will allow for hours and hours of personal reflection. i'll be reading "on the road" by jack kerouac, listening to seattle bands on my ipod, and writing in my journal for hours. maybe during my layovers i'll have a beer and make a few friends on the way. the possibilities are endless. and the trip is all mine. i've had so much time to take time to simply think over the past few months. i've spent more time by myself over the past year than i have since i was in high school. this has resulted in growing as an intellectual by simply thinking more. i spend plenty of time at work and in the car simply considering life and what it means and why, just why. much of the result of this thinking has been documented in this blog. it's really been an amazing opportunity to re-connect with myself.

so what do i hope to gain from this trip? well, if nothing else i'll get to spend some time with some good friends. i want to see seattle and evaluate whether it's somewhere i'd like to consider as a future temporary home. i want to see the pacific ocean. i want to experience beauty that i haven't experienced before. i want to take time to be on my own. i want to see a fish tossed across the room, then have it for lunch. i want to taste a beer made in the pacific northwest. i want to meet someone i may never see again. i want to see and express my thoughts on the other end of the country. i want to see the people living in houseboats and think about what my life would be like if i joined them. most importantly i want to leave. i want to leave everything here and try something else. i want to get as far away from here as possible, knowing that i have the comfort of returning on the other end of the trip. i want to try it out and see what i think. then i want to come home and consider leaving again.

regret

2009-08-04T22:20:00.001-04:00

i've been forced to consider my thoughts on life recently. i've made some decisions that may have upset some people and for that i'm sorry. when it comes down to it i have really become a war of head versus heart, as the death cab-inspired title of my blog reads. i find myself in a constant battle of what should i do versus what do i want to do. what decision is best for the long-run versus what decision is best for me now. will my reasoning justify my decisions, or am i simply looking for some roundabout way for my priorities to see right despite their wrongness?

rory cochrane ("lucas") once said one of my favorite lines in empire records, which may have been taken from somewhere else. "i do not regret the things i've done, but those i did not do". the way i apply that statement to my life is that i know why i make the decisions i make and do the things i've done. in hindsight i'd certainly like to have made some different choices in my life, but i know that if i went back and did it again i'd probably do the same thing because there was a reason for it. whatever i did at the time felt like the right thing to do. i feel like that's the reason most people make decisions.

life is a series of actions and reactions, so things happen and then we figure out how to deal with them. i am who i am, and where i am, as a result of what's happened to me. some things were controllable, some weren't. but what's the point of contemplating what could have been? the Bible wonders what the point of worrying is because it will have no bearing on solving the problems or making today any easier. sometimes we make decisions that alienate people or cause harm, but we learn from those decisions and they ultimately make us better people. if i spent time worrying about people disagreeing with decisions i've made then i probably wouldn't have enough time left over to make anything positive happen. our time here is short and there doesn't seem to be much need for regret in my eyes.

i haven't been close to the ideal model Christian in a long time. i could make plenty of excuses for it, too. maybe it's because i got burned out by ministry. maybe it's because i've been isolated in cranberry and haven't attended any Bible study. maybe it's because i've lost hope for getting into a full-time job and have given in to the frustrations of my current job. whatever the reason, it may make sense, but the bottom line is that i know what it means to be a Christian and i still have chosen to not share that love as much as i have in the past and for that i'm sorry. i'll learn from the past year and move forward. the basis of Christianity allows for second chances and hopefully that can be granted.

disconnection

2009-07-20T09:25:00.000-04:00

i use facebook. i am consistently on gmail. sometimes i log into aim still. and my cell phone is always with me, although i have a limited number of text messages and i'm not the most reliable at answering or returning calls. i am very connected to the world and it's people. if someone wanted to reach me this second, they could talk to me on facebook chat. they couldn't reach me by phone; it's on silent like it is all night long. i decided a long time ago that there is not a single phone call that is more important than sleep. that thought was reinforced when my missed calls would be from the olive garden at 9am.

all of this is to illustrate a little background before i write about my desire to create a disconnect with the world. my brothers and sister didn't have this extensive amount of communication resources when they were in college in the early 90s. a couple of them went to pitt, so imagining their situation at the same school i went to would blow my mind. they had some email, but no aim or facebook. no cell phones. their main communication resource was the room telephone. which those of us still living in the 1900s know is pretty inconvenient if you're not in your room or house to answer the phone. so yes, maybe we are better off now with the technology we have to use to contact people we want to hang out with and stay in touch with old friends.

on the other hand, we are all bothered by the notorious text messager who sends messages while we're trying to talk to them. or who sends you messages saying "hey" or "what's up". i don't respond to those messages. being connected isn't a bad thing, i just find it hard to figure out what the point of twitter is.

a few friends recently have been using their blackberries a lot and have started to pressure me to get one. well, one friend is really pressuring because she caved once she saw her husband and our other friend using them constantly. but i told her i have absolutely no need to spend money on something like that. which makes me think about how i'd like to disconnect myself from the world. over the years i've had a few close friends who have been impossible to get ahold of. they'd rarely answer their phone or return calls. this would frustrate those of us who do answer and return calls. but after surrounding myself with some more close friends who tend to keep themselves independent and noncommital in the way they live their lives, i have discovered the sense of independence that comes from avoiding communication devices. there is something freeing about leaving your cell phone at home. and there is certainly a sense of accomplishment when you log in to facebook for the first time in days.

i suppose what i'm saying is that american society has pressured us, especially teens-to-20s, into constantly being reachable. a while ago i wrote about a co-worker who does not have the internet or a cell phone. i think i'm past the point where i could go without either, but he lives a simpler life that i would like to strive for. i don't like people to think they can find me if they need to. i don't want to be found. i don't want to be tied down by technology or, while we're at it, time.

i don't really know what the conclusion i'm coming to is. i probably won't ween myself off of emails because i am looking for a job. for the same reason i won't take away my cell phone. and i already don't respond to text messages if i don't feel like it. i guess what i'm saying is that there is something to be said for being on your own and deciding if and when people can reach you.

maybe it's just the non-conformist in me. or maybe it's the side of me that wants to maintain the Biblical idea of being in the world but not of the world. i feel like i am being "of the world" when i rely on things like facebook. and maybe the more i disconnect myself from everyone, the more time and energy i can have to reconnect with God.